legers at home

Guess who is eating dairy now?

2012-01-26T19:03:00.000-08:00

And oh gosh, that first little face he makes - hilarious!!

And now for...

2012-01-25T11:46:00.002-08:00

Levi Says!

In no particular order...our 17-month-old is saying the following words:

wooooow (he's saying this right now while looking at himself in the mirror)
whoa = if he falls down or something like that happens, he says a curt whoa
noo-no = noodles
bis = chips
tass = trash
ya yo = cereal
na = banana
wa wa = water
ah = hot
no = no, phone, snow (but when he means no, he shakes his head and repeats it), nose
yes, except sometimes instead of saying yes when I ask a question, he flutters his eyes and tilts his head down and smiles so cutely, letting out a little happy sound. i love this.
mama, sometimes ma-meeee (if juliet is yelling my name, he will copy her)
baba
yaya = juliet :) <3
la lo = levi
byebye
k = ok
baw = ball, paul (our neighbor)
ba = bag, bath
mo = more
mo mo = when he wants to nurse, i think he developed this word for it because i ask him if he wants more.
ga = all gone, dog, duck
ca = car
hi
guys (really, he says this)
ooo = hello
hey

also blowing kisses, and saying something to resemble i love you when he is saying goodbye

i know there are probably more!

almost forgot!

po po = poo poo
ba-ber = diaper

Human, Mother

2012-01-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

I woke up to whining. Everything was answered with a whine. It eats away at me. It's so hard. I can't take it.

Finally, over the blueberries, that I had already refilled but she just hadn't noticed. I was making their snack trays for the day. "I want more blueberries!" Read this in the most whiney, aggravating voice you can possibly imagine.

I snapped. I did. It was not pretty, but it was bound to happen.

Pick her up. Put her in my bedroom, cause it's closest. Slam the door.

Yep, slam.

Begin rant. Yelling.

Everything's a whine. How am I supposed to deal with this? How much can I take? Sometimes I want to just get a bunch of junk food and buy a f-ing tv and just let her eat crap and watch crap all day. I feel like that's what she wants. Because she doesn't want this, what I'm working so hard to give her.

She doesn't want me.

I mean, look at this! (pointing to healthy snack trays) Look!

I know she is a child. I know she's three. But I'm human, too, and I can only take so much.

This was all ranted - loudly - to Travis (and I bet the neighbors heard too), who lovingly said, "I know. I don't know how you deal with it...how anybody would deal with it."

I don't exaggerate when I say everything is a whine.

She was happy with the blueberries until they were gone and then began whining about something else.

---

It's the perfect day for a just write link up.

Naptime Randoms

2012-01-23T11:35:00.001-08:00

The kids are both sleeping...thought I'd type out a few tidbits...

There does seem to be one positive thing that came out of the kids being sick so much lately. Juliet seems to have gotten back into her nap routine. A few times when she was sick she fell asleep completely on her own, which was both awesome and sad. Awesome because I didn't have to fight with her to nap...sad because that was proof of just how sick she felt.

The heater just kicked on and geez, I swear it always makes it seem like Levi is crying. When I know he is sleeping. Every time.

Last night I had a dream I was at the beach and I started running and running and just dove into the warm, blue ocean. How nice. And then, we went to story time at the library today and the theme for the day was the ocean. Is somebody trying to tell me something? Hawaii vacation? I think I will come up with some sea-themed activities for the week. I have been thinking of doing themes like that, so maybe this was just the coincidence I needed to get me motivated.

Today will be a long day...Mondays will be long for a while, actually. Travis starts night classes tonight to get his WI special education teaching certification. He has class every Monday night and then every third Saturday. It's worth it, though. Finally he is a salaried employee and we have health benefits starting up soon. We'll be able to cancel the very expensive private coverage we've had for a couple of years now, and the coverage provided by his work will be much more comprehensive. It'll even cover pregnancy, not that we're planning another one just yet, but not having maternity coverage was a big financial stress for us for both Juliet and Levi's births.

We mopped and vaccuumed over the weekend. I'm ashamed to say that we hadn't done that yet since we moved in. It really makes a huge difference. I kind of got kicked into gear by our recent week of illness to keep the house cleaner. I don't usually like to use antibacterial stuff and disinfectants because I think that some germs are definitely good for boosting our immune system. But last week I started to wipe with disinfecting wipes every now and then.

Levi's up - and I'm out!

Thankful

2012-01-19T19:21:00.001-08:00

Both of my babies have been sick. This one's been sticking pretty close. (The other one is happy watching shows online as long as I check in on her every so often.)

---

I've been writing this post in my head for a few days. I've been feeling extra thankful, so I thought I'd jot down some of the reasons why...

1. I'm thankful for heat. It is SO COLD here right now - colder than I possibly have ever experienced. If you can call it "experiencing" when you sit inside and don't actually feel how cold it is. Because that's what we did today. Tonight's low is -10 degrees, and that's the actual temperature, not the wind chill. Insane cold. Tomorrow when Travis leaves for work it will be, oh, -8. So, I am very thankful for being able to live in a house with wonderful heating and insulation so that my family and I do not feel this bitter cold. I know so many aren't this lucky.

2. I'm thankful for new experiences! It's wonderful to be able to experience things for the first time along with my children. Now, I may have sledded when I was child - on a fake hill inside an outdoors store! - but for real sledding was so much fun. And I understand we were on a tiny hill, but it felt awesome for me nonetheless. And I am still surprised every time I look outside and see the white blanket covering the world outside. Technically snow is not a new experience for me, but it feels like one. When I was living in Chicago from 02-03, I definitely experienced snow, but I remember it being a mild winter, and maybe I had some other things on my brain, but that's another story for another time. Anyways...

3. I'm so thankful for friends, both old and new. I am thankful that I still have my oldest friend in the world (we met in first grade). And that even though I have been horrible about keeping in touch, a short email from her makes me so happy. And she is about to have her second baby boy. That makes me happy, too, because babies are definitely something to be thankful for. I will call you this weekend, L. (I know she reads the blog.)

4. I'm also feeling very thankful for artistic people. This week I've been fascinated with this video, and I am just in awe of these people that 1. they came up with the idea to do this and 2. they do it so well and 3. they chose to share it with the world. (It's a cover. The original song is here. Both are amazing.) (And then how awesome is this? This family did a cover of the cover. I love it.) All of this inspires me. And artistic people part 2: Suzanne Collins and The Hunger Games series. What a weirdly fascinating set of books, and I'm not even done with Mockingjay yet. People who come up with this stuff - who write things like Harry Potter and Twilight and The Hunger Games - just really amaze me!

And that's about it. Kind of a random post...but I gotta get to bed. I'm on cough duty tonight, i.e. putting the kids back to sleep when they wake themselves up coughing. :(

5. One more thing. A very very cheesy thing. I'm thankful for silly shows like The Bachelor. What an escape from reality!

Sledding!

2012-01-16T14:47:00.002-08:00

We went sledding yesterday! It was a gorgeous, sunny day. Along with our neighbors, we walked to a nearby park that had a sloping hill just perfect for sledding with the little ones.

Both of the kids loved it in their own little ways. Juliet was hesitant, and did go down the hill a few times, but she loved to push others. Levi giggled all the way down. Mommy and Baba had a great time, too. We are really enjoying all of the new experiences that living in this climate brings.

Had to cross a big baseball field to get to the hill. Levi and Juliet enjoyed the ride.

A genuine smile there. Also, $3 snow pants from the thrift store. And snow boots finally purchased. The jacket I still have from when I moved to Chicago in 2002. Convenient how it all goes well together!

Juliet takes her turn.

The toughest part - going back up.

Levi has the most delighted face here. And Baba, too.

Yay for sledding!

Rosy cheeks prove a fun time.

Playdate Highlight

2012-01-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

We had friends over for a playdate today. A four-year-old boy and his 21-month-old sister. Their mother and I were in the living room with the babies while the older children played in our bedroom, jumping on the bed and such.

They were quiet for a bit, so we decided we should check. I was quite surprised to open the door and find Juliet in only her underpants! (Now, she does have a history of taking off her clothes, but she has pretty much outgrown it, and usually knows that she shouldn't do that in front of others.)

"What are you guys doing?" I said. "Swimming," was Juliet's answer.

The boy's mother took him out and I had a little talk with Juliet about how we need to keep clothes on when we have friends over, and then we put her clothes back on.

Fast forward a bit and our friends are packing up to leave. Their mother asked the boy to thank us for the playdate, and then she said, "What was your favorite thing about our playdate today?"

His response?

"Swimming."

Loads of Pictures from our First Day in the Snow!!

2012-01-12T19:34:00.001-08:00

Levi was not quite sure about all this snow...

In fact, I don't remember him smiling once.

Juliet, on the other hand, loved it.

Still unhappy...

Pretty much in heaven.

The best I could get of the two of them together. Levi really looks upset! :(

And then he just took off.

She wanted to make a snow angel "like at Grandma's house." (There was no snow at Grandma's.)

Looks pretty painful, but I think the snow was just getting in her eyes.

My lil' snow angel.

Mommy was there, too! (Levi still freaking out. Trust me, we weren't out that long.)

Baby's first snowball

Hmmmm.....

I can throw this?

Back inside, hot chocolate (or warm chocolate for the kiddies)

He doesn't seem to have a problem with this part of the snow day!

Good night to a beautiful winter wonderland!

Levi's Baby

2012-01-11T18:13:00.001-08:00

I don't have much time to write - the computer battery is dying and I told myself that I would just shut it down when it was empty...a little way to keep myself from being on the computer all night. Not that it is a bad thing to shut it down early tonight...I have book two from The Hunger Games series waiting for me, and the first book was pretttty goood.

(I wrote the first part of this post last night. Computer died before I got the pics uploaded.)

Anyways.

I wanted to post a couple of super duper cute pictures because today (so really, it was yesterday)...today, Levi wanted to play with babies with his big sister. And I just think it is the cutest thing in the world when my babies start loving on their babies.

Thing is, Levi doesn't have any of his own babies, and big sister is a bit possessive of hers.

Enter the giraffe toy.

I think he was pleased with that, don't you?

---

So then, back to today, the real today. Mysteriously, as if someone up above knew I had written this post last night about Levi needing his own baby, a package arrived at our house. From my dad, it included two stuffed animals: a teddy bear and a monkey, the latter of which sings when you press his hand. It plays "Signed, Sealed, Delivered...I'm Yours," dances and its mouth moves and everything.

At first Levi didn't know what to think of it. He was hesitant to go near, as he hasn't seen this type of toy before. Then, a little bit later, he would start dancing when it came on, but still kept the same serious face! It was too cute. Like..."my body really wants to groove, but I'm still not sure what this thing is so I'm not smiling. I'm dancing, I'm dancing, but I'm not having fun!"

So, two new stuffed animals, and I immediately took this as a chance to introduce "Levi's baby." Which Juliet seemed to understand, but she's so smart that she just does this..."Levi wants me to hold his baby." "Levi wants his baby to do this or that." So maybe Levi doesn't have a baby after all.

And Juliet has 20.

---

And finally, a new sleep experiment for the Legers. We are trying out the sibling bed. We put their mattresses on the floor next to each other and there they sleep tonight. We're wondering if they will snuggle up to each other when they feel the need for mommy or baba. Ha. Wishful thinking, but miracles do happen!

I took this with my night-vision camera lens. ;)

Sweet dreams!

Let the Sun Shine

2012-01-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

Mother Nature was kind to us today. And it's a good thing because if we had to stay in all afternoon there may have been casualties.

Kidding. Of course.

This has been a tough week. We had planned to give ourselves a few-day cushion between the holiday and when Travis had to go back to work. But we all got sick in Arkansas and therefore arrived back in MKE just the day before school started (for Travis, not J). Anyways...this has all led to one stressed-out mama. I just don't do too well going quickly from having tons of help with the kids to then being just me all of the sudden. I need more transition time. So sue me.

Back to today. 40 degrees and sunny. Who could ask for anything more? The kids and I strolled over to the lakefront park and enjoyed the unexpected dose of Vitamin D. It was so good for all of us. We ran and climbed and ran some more. Explored the leaves, sticks, and trees then off to the lake and then to the playground.

Needless to say our moods were lifted for the rest of the day. And it encouraged me to turn the corner and get out of this little funk I'm in. The kids went to bed so easily tonight. It really has me longing for some warmer times, as I know this warm spell will not last too long (though it will be 45 tomorrow!).

Now for some pictures :)

A Boy and His Dog

2012-01-04T19:00:00.001-08:00

Some of you may know that when we moved to Portland, we did not take our doggie with us. Instead, she went to Arkansas to live with my mom. Same (see note below) is now seven years old and pretty mellow, save for the moment anyone walks in the door, where she gets very very excited. She is super sweet and absolutely wonderful with the kids.

(Same, pronounced Sah-may, was named after the Timorese village where we lived in Peace Corps. We adopted her from the Louisiana SPCA in fall 2006, and she was about a year old at the time, which makes her a just pre- or just post-Katrina dog. We will never know her story from before we met her, but wish we did!)

The last time we saw Same was when we moved up to MKE in October. Levi was pretty hesitant to be around her - she freaked him out and he really didn't want anything to do with her. That's how it was this trip, too...for the first day or so. After that, wow, Same probably wanted to get rid of him! Levi would not leave her alone.

The pictures are proof of that.

Here he is most likely practicing his newest word, "gah." (Dog. In case you don't speak baby.)

Showing Same that a new master is in town.

Give us a kiss.

With tongue, don't be shy ;)

I love Same's expression here. "Seriously?"

"You don't smell too bad, I guess."

Levi hamming it up for the camera.

And here comes Juliet! Same, watch out ole' girl.

Now, we were definitely on Same's side, protecting her to make sure she didn't actually get hurt. I am sure she enjoyed all of the extra attention and love that Levi gave her.

And what would fun would all these pictures be without a little video?

(He says a really good "hello" in there, did ya catch that?)

Our Two - January 2012

2012-01-03T19:23:00.000-08:00

This is an idea I got from one of my favorite bloggers, Stephanie, at Adventures in Babywearing. She takes a photo of her four children every month on the fourth. I thought I'd give it a shot, except mine will be posted on the second - for two kids, you know. Except this month I'm a day late. Oh wells...I'll give you two pictures to make up for it.

It was ten degrees when we went out this morning. You may ask what the heck we were doing out in that cold of weather, but since we had just returned last night from our trip, we had no food in the house and had to venture out to the store. So, here are the munchkins all bundled up.

And then here they are just relaxing later this afternoon. We made it through today - Travis' first day back to work and therefore our first day back to just the three of us - with a minimal amount of tears and not too much frustration. They certainly look happy in this picture, and that makes me feel good.

The New Year's Day Series

2012-01-02T17:56:00.000-08:00

2008

Audubon Park - New Orleans, Louisiana

2009

Audubon Park - New Orleans, Louisiana

2010

Audubon Park - New Orleans, Louisiana

2011

Cannon Beach, Oregon

2012

Hotel - St. Louis, Missouri

(All photos are "self-portraits" shot with a timer.)

Five Hundred

2011-12-26T18:19:00.000-08:00

EDITED TO ADD: None of the links work! GAH! I have to fix it, but not tonight.

So this is it, our 500th post. I'm writing to you from my mom's kitchen in Arkansas. We're here for the holidays and it has been nothing short of amazing. My family is special, they are the best.
I have been saving these two dancing videos for this momentous blog post. I just think they are hilarious.

We started blogging way back in 2005, as a way to keep connected to our family and friends while were in the Peace Corps in East Timor. That was over at Legers Abroad. The blog is still live - check it out. We also chronicled when we went to Hawaii and when I went to Kenya and Tanzania.
Our first posts, before we left for East Timor, are here. We had no idea what an adventure we were in store for! Go here and scroll down to the post "Arrival in East Timor" and you can see our first impressions. (Blogger doesn't want to let me link to actual posts.) What were we doing for the 2006 holidays? Check here. And - seriously teared up finding these posts - we write about the end, our evacuation, here.

So then. Abroad no more, Legers At Home was born. The first posts are here and here (waxing philosophical on life) and here. It took us a while to get settled...we landed in New Orleans and experienced our first post-PC "grocery store moments"...read here.   We stayed with my sister and then house-sat a friend's place before renting our own apartment. I started graduate school at Tulane SPHTM and Travis began working at a local nonprofit as an Americorps volunteer. (The newspaper he started, The Trumpet, is still going strong. Go, Pookie!)

Some other things that happened over the years...

We adopted a dog! (She may have gained a few or ten pounds since then...)

Travis acted in a movie! The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - you may have heard of it.

Travis got accepted to UNO's MFA program for creative nonfiction. We met the President of East Timor...in Alabama. Watched soccer games. Went to Jazz Fest.

I went to Africa for 6 weeks on a school trip. And while I was gone Travis bought an old piece of junk (a Vespa). And when I got back he sold it.

We started a new blog, Leger on the Way, because I got pregnant! Fun times. We were so excited to be parents. Celebrity-style baby announcement here.  Check out the site and the fun slide show at the top - shows how I get bigger and bigger and bigger...

This video Travis made is awesome.

At eight months+, we evacuated to Arkansas for Hurricane Gustav. We played a lot of wii. And fished.

And then, before we knew it, Juliet Lee was here! Here are some photos from her first week. Travis wrote about her birth.

Dancing with a baby. Here, here, and later here. Rolling over. First Mardi Gras. Solid food. There are a lot of updates...too many to link back to.  Standing and teeth.

I started writing letters to Juliet. (Here's another.)

My beloved grandfather passed away - I wrote him a letter, too.

And first steps!

Still had Same, she just didn't get much blog love anymore. :(

Before you know it, we had a ONE year old. Time sure does fly when you're having fun.

We came to (mostly) love attachment parenting, which includes baby wearing and breastfeeding.

Juliet had her first haircut. We learned to sew.

Didn't mention it before, but Travis was a stay-at-home dad for the first two years of Juliet's life. I worked full time. Most times were great. Here's an account of a rough day. And here. Most of his rough days dealt with the fact that Juliet would not nap easily. Ever.

Somewhere in there I got pregnant with Levi, but I can't find the announcement! But I did post belly shots. 19 weeks. With my belly buddy. Third trimester. Whoa! 38 weeks.

We. Discovered. Montessori. (Something that surely has changed our lives - for the better.)

We referred to Levi as alin on the blog. We didn't know whether he was a he or a she, and alin is the
Tetun word for little sibling. I included him in my next letter.

On August 21, Levi made his very quick and speedy arrival. And punctual, he arrived on his due date! Three days old.  Five and six days old. At ten days old, we left New Orleans for Portland.

Levi was great on the road trip. Juliet, too.

I was staying at home once we moved to Portland. And if I thought time flew when I had one child, it really flew by with two. Here are the siblings together. Here's Levi at one month. Two (oh my the chubbiness). Four months.

Juliet turned two! And she was just busy busy and learning how to be an independent (and funny!) little girl.

We rang in 2011 with a chilly trip to Cannon Beach on the Oregon Coast.

Levi tried his first food - avocado.

Oh and remember how I wrote so many letters to Juliet? Man, Levi got the shaft - his first letter was at 6 months!

Travis graduated from UNO - Master of Fine Arts, baby!

(Ohmygosh, this is taking so long.)

Levi at seven months. Here's proof that at least once they have both slept through the night. Pretty much jinxed it by posting that I think. A good night's sleep with two little ones is geez, just not very common.

Juliet started school. My big girl.

And then Levi turned one. Dang, he was growing so fast.

We moved to Milwaukee for Travis to take a job. A big leap of faith, but it seems to be working out.

Juliet took and passed "the cookie test." Fun times!

And now I have a three-year-old and sixteen-month-old. Wow. We celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas 2011.

We are headed into the New Year - 2012! What will this year bring us? We hope it will be wonderful.

So what to say? Five hundred posts here on Legers at Home. Throughout several years this blog has been here to record what we've done and experienced. We've loved being able to share pictures and videos with our family.

Furthermore, the blog has been a great outlet, for us, to share the joys and struggles of parenthood. We may not get too many comments, but we know there are some folks out there, reading, and relating to what we're writing. And with such a tough task in front of you, raising children, it's good to know you're not alone in it.

So, here's to five hundred more posts...cheers!

Big

2011-12-19T19:55:00.001-08:00

For a few days now, I've had this eerie feeling. Not a bad eerie, but eerie nonetheless.

It's a feeling that there is something big on the horizon...

For me...

For us...

I just don't know. I can't put my finger on it. But that could be the point.

Travis says you can't anticipate things just happening.

But I wonder if it's just an opening up to something new - that makes it seem like something is coming.

I'm not quite sure.

I'm not pregnant. That would be big.

We're not moving or anything like that.

I am applying for jobs, but honestly I don't think I'll get one.

(Being out of the workplace for 1.5 years doesn't do much for my hireability-confidence rating. Made that up, Yep.)

I get moments of clarity when I am running where everything seems to make sense (not this eerie feeling, just life in general) but then stepping back into the house with its craziness causes the here and now to be so in my face that big picture stuff slips away.

I need more time to be alone. To have moments of clarity. Thirty minutes just doesn't seem to cut it. I need a vacation.

I'm anxious to see what this big thing is that is on the horizon.

(And it's also not our blog's 500th post, which is the next one, which is pretty awesome.)

---

Linking up with Heather for Just Write. Check her out, I love her blog.

Little Things

2011-12-13T19:19:00.000-08:00

Today, schedule-wise, was the perfect day.

Things just fell into place with naps and snacks and school and errands.

In the afternoon, we made gluten-free playdoh and colored it red and yellow and green.

We used these little cookie cutters (THANK YOU, Target!) which are perfect for their little hands. A cute stocking, star, tree, and gingerbread person.

Levi was more of a smusher.

I think we all enjoyed the activity. (There was that time Juliet threw three cookie cutters and some playdoh across the room, but mostly good times were had.)

---

Not long after, Travis came home and I headed out to run on the treadmill next door. The kids kinda started melting down when I was almost out the door. I kept going anyway, after professing my love of course, and shut the door.

Once out, I hesitated and thought about going back in to give more hugs, but I just waited there a minute. I'm glad I did. I heard Juliet say to Travis, "we miss her."

They say it's the little things in life that make you happy, keep you going. And hearing that - that was one of those little things.

I'm so happy.

2011-12-07T19:06:00.001-08:00

Happy Holidays

from our little family

to yours.

Diving!

2011-12-06T19:13:00.001-08:00

Diving from our laundry basket (that's really a trash can) onto our bed/pile of (clean, I promise) laundry.

Fun times.

Me and My Babies Just Get Along

2011-12-05T20:08:00.001-08:00

It is ten, and I am up past my bedtime, talking with Travis about money stuff.

The bedroom and kitchen lights are on, and I hear footsteps. I jump out and coming towards the door is Juliet, head down to shield her eyes from the bright lights.

I pick her up and head towards her room. She stiffens. "I want you, mommy," she says. So I turn and bring her back to bed, turning off the lights and laying her down. We snuggle and she gets comfortable and falls back to sleep, in our bed where she will stay for the night.

A few minutes later, and I'm reading blogs, still not sleeping as I should be.

I hear cries from the kids' room. Levi is up and crying hard (probably because the nightlight wasn't plugged in and it was quite dark.) Travis usually takes Levi when he cries because Levi loves to nurse and he does not like it when I go to him and don't nurse him (and I try not to night-nurse him anymore). But as Travis is in the shower, it's all me. I scoop him up from his bed, and it takes a couple of minutes of fighting me for milk before he settles into my shoulder.

Nothing is wrong, me and my baby just get along...

I sing him one of my favorite little lullabies and he falls back to sleep rather quickly. I put him back into his bed (unlike his sister, he is not a co-sleeper).

---

I am so thankful for my recovery from postpartum depression and lifelong feelings of anxiety and rigidity. If I hadn't gotten better, these beautiful mothering moments would not be happening, and what a huge loss that would be.

---

This is part of the Just Write link up at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

Dear Santa

2011-12-03T18:02:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, when Juliet is rough with Levi, I worry myself that they will never get along - that they won't be close as siblings - and that maybe she doesn't even like him at all.

I know this sounds silly to you (because it's normal sibling behavior for their ages), but my brain works in irrational ways like this...often.

And then something happens like this:

(Juliet's first-ever letter to Santa, dictated to me)

and makes me realize that gosh darn it, she LOVES him - she really, really does.

Teething

2011-11-30T19:00:00.001-08:00

Chewing

Drooling

(Not) Sleeping

Pooping

Crying

Whining

Reaching

Holding

Soothing

Nursing, nursing, nursing

Loving

(In this last one, he's making the "milk" sign.)

Staying for Christmas

2011-11-28T19:52:00.001-08:00

This is maybe only my second Christmas EVER where I won't be around any extended family. And the other was in 2005 while we were in Peace Corps and while not "family" those folks we were with were family of another kind.

I daydream, literally every day, about that old commercial where the grown son surprises his mom by walking in on Christmas or Christmas Eve (Folgers commercial?) and everyone is so surprised and happy. I daydream that we will do that this year. That we will decide at the last minute to drive the 13+ hours to Arkansas and time it just right so that we walk in while everyone is having Christmas Eve dinner and our hearts will all be full and happy.

(And now all my family that reads this will be wondering, on Christmas Eve, will they join us?)

And the answer is 99.999% no. The money is just not there. It makes me so sad because it's my family and we missed our Thanksgiving gathering last year, too. But hopefully this missing of gatherings won't last long. One reason we moved over here was to be within driving distance, so once the financial transition is done it should be easier to travel.

And it's not like it will be bad being here with my darling husband and two delightful children. This is the first Christmas where Juliet is really interested and excited about stuff. And it will probably be a White Christmas, which is exciting.

I'm dreeeeeaming of a Whiiiiiite Christmas, just like the ones I used to know...

But not really. I'll be getting to know them if we stay here!

---

Linking up with Heather and Just Write.

An Update on My Growing Girl

2011-11-28T18:41:00.001-08:00

I put Juliet to bed tonight and was doing the dishes. A while later, Travis motioned to me to come see in the playroom. Juliet was there, light on, "writing" on a piece of paper. We asked what she was doing and she said, "I am writing a letter to Abuelita and Pepere," she said (that's Travis' parents), "so that we can send it to them in the mail." I looked up at Travis, "should we let her do it?" and he shrugged a yes. I'm glad we did. Much better to let her complete her spontaneous little act of kindness than fight her to go to bed in the middle of her work. (A & P, we will put it in the mail tomorrow.) :)

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It seems like Juliet got off to a bit of a rough start when she turned three. Looking back, the timing probably had a lot to do with the big cross-country move. Her behavior became much harder to tolerate, even if it was developmentally appropriate. (I speak in past tense, but most of this is ongoing.) She is very set in her ways, knows what she wants and exactly how she wants it done. She has started to be pretty rough with Levi, especially when it looks like he is threatening to disturb what she is doing. I'm talking full-on attack mode - it's not nice. I've learned to be very quick in order to protect him.

As a mama and caregiver, it is very frustrating for me to be faced with "this type of behavior" all day long, while also realizing that "this type of behavior" is just normal three-year old stuff. And sibling relationship stuff. It's exhausting to constantly feel like I am correcting her or telling her not to do something or pulling her off of her brother. Allowing her space while setting limits is a very tricky job. And I'm sure she isn't quite sure how to deal with me right now either - always cramping her style and limiting her freedom.

I read a book called The Happiest Toddler on the Block by Harvey Karp and it really helped me to first, understand more about what she is going through, and second, find back-door ways to communicate with her and make things a bit easier for both of us right now. She is in a stage right now, going from baby to big girl, where sometimes she really wants to assert her independence but other times she still wants to closeness and comfort of mama (she is sleeping on my floor now, in fact), and this can be really frustrating for her. Of course she isn't conscious of the science of it, but her actions and emotions reflect it nonetheless. (It's said to be a predictor of what her early teen stage will be like; it's very interesting...and a bit frightening.)

I've begun listening to Juliet with much more sincerity; giving her my full attention when she is talking to me and even when she is very upset, I do my best to let her know I am listening to her. I repeat what she is saying so that she knows she is heard, and if she is not able to articulate how she is feeling, I just guess, saying something like, "You're very upset because Levi took your crayon." Sometimes it takes repeating that phrase over and over a few times, and sometimes quite loudly so she can hear me over her cries, but like magic, when she realizes that I understand how she is feeling, she takes deep breaths, quiets her sobs, and usually begins to talk about it. I can hug her when she is more calm and these episodes pass much more quickly. After all, don't we all just want to be heard when we are upset? This doesn't only work with toddlers, y'all. It's universal.

Another tip, which I knew before but was reminded of in this book, is that you can't teach children a lesson in the moment when they are "breaking a rule." So, when Juliet is putting Levi in a head lock is not the best time to give her direction about being gentle with her brother. Sure, I pull her off of him, but a long speech would not be heard by her at that time. It's best to give those lessons when she is not "misbehaving," so to speak. So, we've started having "gentle parties," and I know the term is funny but it just came out of my mouth and then stuck. Basically, when we are all playing and things are calm but nobody is too involved in any one thing, I say, "Let's have a gentle party!" and we all come together for a group hug and we love on each other for a bit. We're just practicing how to love each other, so that in heated moments, that love comes more naturally. Levi and Juliet have even begun to kiss on the lips during gentle parties. It's utterly amazing (and beautiful, and I get all emotional), and I've only been doing it for a few days. I do honestly think it has helped Juliet to be a bit more loving towards Levi. (Cute aside: When I first started gentle parties, Travis and I thought it was so cute that we started saying, "awwww," and now both Levi and Juliet say, "awwwww," when they go in for the group hug. Adorable.)

One final thing that I just started today is called "sweet talk" in the book. At nighttime before bed, recap some of the highlights of the day, some good things that happened that you enjoyed or some times where the child helped you in some way. I am careful with this one because I believe in "unconditional parenting"; I never want Juliet to think I will not love her if she does not do things to please me, but I want her to know I appreciate when she does help or do good things. Tonight before bed, after I read her books (which we just started doing alone, just me and her...that one-on-one time has also been good for her) I talked with her about some of the things that happened today. The things on my list were: she read quietly while I got dinner in the crock pot; she helped put toothpaste on the toothbrushes; played nicely with Levi with the Christmas toys; tried walnuts for snack (after she said she didn't want them) and ate them all; turned off the Christmas tree lights before we left the house (she said, "I did you a favor!" when I said this one - she just learned that word); and gave me lots and lots of kisses at library story time. She liked hearing all of these little tidbits about our day. And, to be quite honest, it really helped me to write these things down throughout the day - to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

As I mentioned, we just started having one-on-one reading time before bed. And another thing is that I have been keeping away from the computer and remaining much more engaged with both children throughout the day. In this day and age, with technology and the information overload, it's hard not to be glued to the screen all the time to see the latest on Facebook, email, blog reader, etc., especially for a lonesome stay-at-home mom. So I just have to set limits for myself and walk away. It helps all of us to have better days when I do.

And, regular snacks with protein. Enough said.

This turned out to be a really long post. I didn't necessarily mean for it to, but it is helpful to write all of this out. Gosh, I sure am learning so much day after day of raising this little girl. I guess that's how it is with your oldest child - everything is a first for both you and them so sometimes it can feel like you're fumbling around in the dark. But thanks to love and patience and some really good parenting books, we are finding the light.

She's such a kind and beautiful girl. And not just physically beautiful, but she has a wonderful spirit and a giving heart. She is loving and honest and goodness, she does know what she wants, and that's not at all a bad thing. I love her to pieces and I am so glad I'm her mama.

And I can't believe how grown up she looks in this picture!

Christmas Goodness

2011-11-27T17:53:00.001-08:00

We got out our tree today, and our Christmas toys and books and the beloved Santa and nativity nesting dolls. It was a fun morning! The children loved looking at the "new" things. I love that they will create memories of these certain items and look forward to getting them out every holiday season, just as I did when I was a child. They are just things, I know, but the memories are so special.

I love our little tree. We have a few sentimental ornaments, the kids' "first Christmas" ornaments, and also Travis' and my first ones as a married couple. And then there are the ones I made last year (from Martha Stewart), and then some Target ones.

We decorated the tree, and then the kids undecorated it - on and off, on and off again. So, I got a basket and put it by the tree so that then they took the ornaments off, they could put them in the basket (rather than scattered all over). It's a Christmas-tree "work" as they would say in Montessori school. It was quite spontaneous, but I figured that it would be easier to just let them play with the ornaments rather than say no over and over. We don't have anything valuable anyways (and if we did I certainly wouldn't put it out.)

(I was feeling very clever and came up with a term for this spontaneous Montessori-themed idea for the ornaments...spontessori...hahaha.)

I'll leave you with that, and a bunch of pictures.

Change

2011-11-27T06:25:00.001-08:00

Today we're staying in our pajamas and putting up the Christmas tree. I have to admit I turned on Pandora (Mannheim Steamroller station) and got all teary-eyed as I thought about creating this Christmas tree tradition with my beautiful little family.

We have very few Christmas decorations, but it is just enough.

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I have decided to stop Facebook-ing as much and I cleared the clutter from my blog reader and email inbox. I'm not quitting cold turkey (tried it before and it doesn't work), and I will still follow all my friends (and "friends"), but I decided the folks I'd much rather follow are Travis, Juliet, and Levi.

I really enjoyed the feedback I got from readers when I posted to Facebook about the blog; I would love to continue to get comments here too. I know leaving a comment here isn't as easy as pushing a "like" button, but it would be awesome to hear from you all.

I hope to be here much more often. I feel like this blog is a much more sound investment - a better use of my time - than typing up short "status updates" that are (pretty much) gone with the wind as soon as they clear the "feed." So, maybe if I am thinking something short or I find a link I like, I'll post it here quickly.

And there will be plenty of pictures, too.

Happy Thanksgiving! (Just one day late...)

2011-11-25T19:59:00.001-08:00

Juliet Says and GOOSE update!

2011-11-24T13:16:00.001-08:00

(Looking at a picture of a pregnant woman on a blog...)

Juliet: "Mommy, she has a baby in her belly."
Me: "Yep."
Juliet: "She's married."
Me: "She's married?"
Juliet: "Yeah."
Me: "What's married mean?"
Juliet: "Married means...she has a baby in her belly so she's married. Right?"
Me: "Sometimes..."

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Also, she stood up for Levi for the first time the other day. We were at the library and Levi was looking at some puzzles while Juliet and I looked at books. Another little boy went over to Levi and said, "No!" and tried to take the puzzle away. Juliet ran over and said, "Levi can do puzzles. Levi knows how to do puzzles. He does." It was such a great moment.

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And remember the injured goose from the last post? I got a call two days ago from the Humane Society and the woman said they saved it!! I was so happy. It's crazy that she found it like a week after I had first reported it. But she did, and the goose is safe in the hospital and being treated for a pretty bad infection caused by some fishing line that got tied 'round its leg. We might go visit it. :)

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Happy Thanksgiving (to all those celebrating)!

To the Rescue

2011-11-15T13:21:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting and eating chocolate while the kids sleep. I feel like every time they double nap I head straight for the chocolate. Really, I do. I'm actually trying to change that, by having a green smoothie in the morning. It's supposed to curb sugar cravings for the rest of the day. Today was day one, and as I finish my chocolate bar I imagine maybe it just doesn't work on the first day.

(Also I'm trying to speed through my chocolate bar before Travis gets home and asks for some. So wrong, I know! But, chocolate is one thing I am selfish about, and I think that is ok.)

So, today Levi and I tried to rescue a Canadian goose. After we dropped Juliet off at school, we went for a nature walk at the park near the lake. After a while of playing with sticks and leaves, we mosied on down to the beach. I noticed a goose standing right by the shoreline on one foot. He wasn't moving much, and I actually stared him down for a while to see if he was moving at all (like he would be standing there dead, I know, not very realistic, but I did it.) After we played in the sand for a while I picked Levi up to go a bit closer, and even when I got within a couple of feet of him, he didn't move.

No idea if it was a he-goose or a she-goose, by the way.

Looking a little closer, I noticed that there was some sort of string or fishing line tangled around the foot he had raised in the air. Poor little guy couldn't walk. This made me really sad. I got a little bit closer and he hopped into the water and swam a few feet out, but I backed up to give him his space and he again came out of the water and stood at the shoreline, on his good foot.

I used google text on my phone to get the number for the Audubon Society in town, but it wasn't open yet. So, I saw some guys working at the park nearby and I went to ask them who I should call. One man made a call for me and said that I should call the Humane Society. Google text gave me that number, too, and I called. Working my way through the automated menu, I found the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center of the Wisconsin Humane Society and I thought man, I'm in luck.

I ended up having to leave a message for them; "We're a busy organization with a small staff..." I would have loved to sit with Mr. Goose until I was able to get a call back, but it was about 40 degrees out and it was intended to be a short nature walk because I'm not really keen on the idea of freezing Levi's little fingers. So, we had to go.

I got a call back not too long after that and I told the woman all about the goose. Honestly, she sounded a little bothered...or hesitant...and said, "I'll write down the information and see if someone can go take a look after work."

Wait a minute...after work? I thought this was their work!

I was a bit perturbed. I mean, it is just a goose and there are who knows how many other geese in this city right now. But it's a living thing and I had become protective of him in the whole hour since I had seen him. In the end, I figured I had to just let it go because I have my own little goslings to feed and protect and they are more important after all.

Fast forward to the afternoon after lunch and we were walking around the block when I see I have a voicemail. It's a man from the Humane Society asking for more information about the goose and if it was still there, so since the park is so close to our house I was happy to jump in the car and go see.

I was really, really hoping and expecting to see him still there, but he and his flock were long gone. The kids and I walked along the shoreline for a while looking for him, but he was gone. I hope his flock took care of him...somehow...I don't know, pecked that string off his leg or something. I hope he ended up ok somehow. It's hard for me to not know, but alas, I have to let it go.

Nourishment, Comfort

2011-11-13T19:31:00.001-08:00

A mama lion nursing her three cubs at the zoo today...

...and me nursing mine.

Change

2011-11-12T13:32:00.001-08:00

Beans

2011-11-11T18:40:00.001-08:00

Small Style: New School Uniforms

2011-11-10T14:53:00.001-08:00

Juliet started at a new school last week and with that new school came uniforms! I think she looks so super cute in them. There's a lot of freedom in what she wears; it just has to follow a simple color scheme. And she gets to wear whatever shoes she wants - thank goodness! - because you know, that girl has an opinion about shoes. I checked out all the thrift stores and then got some things on clearance at Old Navy. It worked out with her starting later in the school year because uniforms were on a good sale.

She goes to school three days a week so I took pictures on her first three days.

Day One:

Shirt, Jumper, and Sweater - Old Navy
Tights - Target
Shoes - Hand-me-downs

Day Two:

Shirt and Sweater - Old Navy
Pants - Thrifted (originally Old Navy)
Shoes - Acquired from Swap Shop event in Portland. I L-O-V-E these boots. Love. LOVE.

Day Three:

Shirt and Sweater - Old Navy
Pants - Thrifted (originally Children's Place)
Shoes - Hand-me-downs
Amber Necklace - Local place in Portland, now closed :(

Then I just took a picture of her today because I thought she looked cute, and I just love the red boots (did I mention that?). I imagine this is what she looks like busy at school.

Shirt and Jumper - Old Navy
Tights - Target
Boots - Swapped

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Linking up with Mama Loves Papa's Small Style.

A Nice Little Saturday*

2011-11-05T18:53:00.002-07:00

My day started at 3:49 a.m. Levi woke up crying, and I got up to get him. Sleepily I laid down Juliet's blanket and pillow on the floor next to his bed (she had already gone to our bed) and told him it was time to go back to sleep. Up and down and nursing and not and eventually we both slept until eight....eight, people, EIGHT!
Travis cleaned up the kitchen and made oatmeal for breakfast. We got ready to go for a hike to the Audubon Nature Center. We bought a membership so that we can go whenever we want for free, and I was excited to show it to Travis because he hadn't been yet.

Drove out there - it's about 20 minutes north of town - only to be stopped at the gates and told that because there was a fundraiser going on, everyone was being charged admission that day. It would have been $28 for us to go in so we said, "no thank you," and drove out.

We decided to go to a park instead and found that the trail we were hoping to hike was closed for a bike race. Ai carumba. The race was kinda cool to see, for a few seconds, but I wish the trail had been open. We found some places to wander around anyway.

Back home and we had homemade pizza for lunch for the third day in a row. ("No sauce, no 'five vegetables', just sausage and mushrooms," for Juliet.) (You can tell we have been talking about five servings a day of vegetables, haha.) Levi has started joining us at the big table to eat. We'll put his food on the small table and he picks it right up and hops down out of his chair to come sit with us.

(He's getting so big...seems more like a toddler every day. He didn't even nurse until like 3 p.m. today, when he nursed to sleep for his nap. It's not like that every day but on the whole I would say he isn't nursing as much.)

After lunch I tried a nap for Juliet and as usual it was a struggle. I ended up falling asleep with her because sometimes that's what it takes for her to give in and rest. I didn't sleep for long.

Instead I went to the store to gather ingredients to batch cook for the next two weeks. I got ingredients for eight meals, six of which will be crock pot meals. Tomorrow I will chop veggies and cook meat so that the meals will be just about ready and need minimal prep on the actual day. Tonight we had chicken pot pie so I made ingredients for two and froze one. We will have that one next week.

Travis and the kids played at the neighbor's house while I cooked. They made plans for a pancake breakfast tomorrow with another neighbor. I'm thankful we are making good friends here, and so soon. It makes a huge difference in feeling "at home" in a new place.

Bath, dinner, and bedtime. Levi was cracking us up by sticking out his tongue really far. He's just started doing this.

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*Can you name the movie this comes from?

Ready or Not

2011-11-04T17:24:00.002-07:00

The older boy in our community loves to play hide and seek after our community dinners, and Juliet has started to watch him and join in a bit. She's just learning, and it's cute.

Just now, as she and Travis and I were finishing reading books before bed, she said she wanted to play hide and seek. I was going to hide first, so she covered her eyes and began to count. I thought I had some time, but she said, "1...2...3...ready or not here I come!" I was barely in a spot so she found me right away.

Then, still sitting my hiding spot, I said, "Ok, it's your turn to hide! I'll count." She quickly responded, "Hey! Get up! I have to hide there!"

Chalkboard Pumpkins

2011-11-01T07:00:00.000-07:00

I was browsing online yesterday and found this idea for chalkboard pumpkins. I have been wanting to try out chalkboard paint, so I went and found some at Home Depot along with some small pie pumpkins from the local grocery co-op.

I spray-painted the pumpkins while the kids played in the sand box, and then after nap we got set up to draw on them with chalk.

It's funny, but art projects with my children tend to last about five minutes. They are into it and then they just move on and start doing other things, but often with the same materials.

Levi, for instance, carried his pumpkin around a lot. We call it "big work" around here.

Juliet put them in her shopping cart and pretended she was going to the farmer's market.

Whatever works! I sure had fun watching them. Hope everyone had a happy Halloween!

Milwaukee Music

2011-10-31T11:58:00.003-07:00

In general, I'd say I'd much rather go see a local band play than fork over big bucks for a popular artist. There are some big names I'd like to see, but as I said, in general, I like to keep it local. This goes, too, for family music, which is pretty much our music scene lately.
Luciky there are people out there who enjoy playing kid-friendly music. In Portland, there was Mr. Ben, who we loved. He played several coffee shop shows all around town and even played some late-afternoon shows at a pizza place.

And here in Milwaukee, there's Fox and Branch. Now, the "Branch" of this duo just happens to be our Music Together teacher. These two guys play a mix of original and well-known tunes. On the last Sunday of each month they play a show at the coffee shop right near our house. Yesterday's show was the Halloween edition and several children were in costume. We went with some of our fellow community members.

Juliet loved it at first. She is in the phase right now where she really wants to go sit up with the other children in front, but she also really wants to security of sitting with me. All of this going back and forth seemed to really stress her out. One second I would see her jumping and dancing and the next she was looking back at me with her arms stretched out to me for a hug. Such a sweetheart. So by the end of the show she was tired and overwhelmed and it was time to go!

Travis has gotten to talking to the guys about jamming with them sometime, he playing his harmonica. Fox and Branch does play a few cajun songs, and I think a few of them Travis knows already. So, who knows, maybe he will be special guesting sometime! Here's Trav and his dad playing last month during our visit to Louisiana.

We had a good time at this show and I look forward to exploring other local, family-friendly music in our new home!

Here's a video of "Fox" playing his awesome washboard - definitely worth watching!

A Constant Pulling

2011-10-30T15:16:00.002-07:00

I've been a stay-at-home mom for over a year now. It's kind of hard to believe that! I stopped working three weeks before Levi was born, and aside from a month-long contract position last June, my sole employment has been caring for our children and our home (and I don't do it alone by any means).

I have mixed feelings about this, especially as time goes on. First of all, I am so incredibly happy to be able to stay home with my little ones while they are little. We are by no means financially well-off and at times we have really struggled, but it is our priority to be home with them and so we make it work. (Some of our family has helped us out tremendously at times, and for that we are very grateful.)

But sometimes, regardless of the fact that I know that my work at home is so, so important, I find myself constantly thinking...what next? What am I going to do next? What about my career?

It's funny, because I know that I don't really want to leave the home for work or school right now. But maybe it's just pressure (from society? from myself?) to do more than just raise kids and keep a home in order. As if that's not enough?

Or maybe it's the pride I have in myself and my intelligence...sometimes it feels like staying at home is sort of a waste of the time I spent in school and that I really should be using my brain more.

I've talked with other stay-at-home moms and I know I'm not alone in this.

That being said, when I was at work when Juliet was young (Travis stayed home), I felt the need to be with her and not at work.

I guess it's the "grass is greener" thing. When you're in one place, it's easier to see its disadvantages, and to notice the advantages of the other place.

I can't even imagine how much I would miss my children if I were gone from them eight hours a day. I honestly don't know how Travis does it. I know that one of us has to, and I am glad he is willing (although he tells me his "dream job" is to stay home). They drive me crazy at times, yes, but I love them so so much.

I tell myself, and it helps, that I will have a kick-ass career...once the youngest is in school. So, once the youngest is three. Now, you'll notice I'm not naming the "youngest" as Levi, because we don't think he will be our youngest. So, I potentially have several years ahead of me as a full-time (or mostly full-time) homemaker/child-raiser.

I am ok with that. But, I think the key to me being happy at home is to make sure I am still using my brain constructively. I am not the kind of mom to just turn on the TV (we don't have one), make microwave lunches (we don't have a microwave either), and let the kids run wild. (Ok, so they do run wild a lot.) So, I make homemade meals, and I have to entertain them or keep them you know, out of trouble, for most of the day using just my own mind and resources.

That's a huge job! And I put a lot of pressure on myself. (I know I shouldn't.) Something I'm doing nowadays is scouring the internet for blogs and ideas for how I can do things more efficiently...like spending a day preparing slow-cooker meals (for a month at a time!), then freezing them and so all you have to do on meal day is thaw a bit and put in the crock pot. And I'm working on building up my arsenal of indoor projects -- there is snow in the ten-day forecast after all -- and where to find cheap art supplies and toys.

It's a big job, as I said. Why do I need anything else? I am my child's first teacher - that is a career in itself. So, when the pull of a career comes up, I am going to try to quiet that voice and be happy where I am, at home, with these two beautiful faces.

Halloween!

2011-10-30T06:48:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was our first real trick-or-treating experience as a family! As you will see, we had a purple kitty cat and the Potter family, James, Lily, and baby Harry. We loved dressing up.

Lucky for us, we live in this great community, so even as newcomers to the area we had the inside scoop on where the best trick-or-treating was. In fact, it wasn't just great trick-or-treating, it was Halloween extravaganza. Like Peacock Lane for Halloween. Just one example is the man below who pitched an orange tent in his front yard, which was heavily decorated with orange lights, and sat in the tent to distribute stickers and balloons. Another house was very scary, with spiderwebs and smoke and lights and scary sounds, and I was surprised that Juliet went up with the other children with no problem.

Juliet loved the idea of getting candy. She would go up to the house, get her treat, then come back to me, take the candy out and hold it up and yell, "Candy!" She was very excited. At one point I reached into her bag to make the load a little lighter (someone had handed out ramen noodles and juice boxes - in addition to beers for adults) and she got upset and said, "Hey! What are you doing?" Haha.

Levi was tired, but was interested in what was going on. He was carried most of the way, but got down a couple of times to visit some houses. He did get a bag of goldfish, which he can't eat, and a Snickers, too. I'm not sure how trick-or-treating will go next year, as it will be tough to explain to him that he can't eat the candy because of his food sensitivities. Maybe - hopefully - they will be gone by then. We might have to have a back-up plan.

We are headed to a costume family folk concert at the nearby coffee shop this morning. Our music teacher has a duo and they are putting on a free show. Should be fun!

Small Style: Fall

2011-10-27T18:37:00.000-07:00

Juliet is styling for fall in Milwaukee.

All of her clothes were either swapped or thrifted for very low prices - total price for the outfit was probably... $3.00 because the things I paid for were purchased on the half-price day at the store we frequent.

The bag was made by my mother. Juliet loves to carry it around and put groceries in it when we go to the store. I love the way she wears it over one shoulder.

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We're linking up with Mama Loves Papa today for Small Style!

The Cookie Experiment

2011-10-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

I gave Juliet a cookie a couple of days ago and asked her to wait until I came back into the room to eat it.

Watch to see what happens. Does she cave and eat it right away? Does she display self control and wait?

Tip: Watch full screen so you can see her cute facial expressions.

(Written yesterday)

2011-10-25T06:04:00.002-07:00

Up early today, I had a pork roast + veggies in the crock pot before 7. Kids dressed, plans made to get out of the house and teeth brushed before 8. Sesame Street on the computer while I put Levi down for his first nap. He'll wake up and we'll go to Value Village before heading to the library for story time.

The first snap happens when it's time to get ready to go. Find your socks and shoes - a dozen times out of my mouth - as she finds things to do and pretend and delay delay delay. I snap, I fuss, she cries. I hug, I apologize, I explain.

Story time is weird. It's fun, but I see two other moms snap at their kids and I think "wow I'm not the only one stressed" while simultaneously thinking "at least I don't snap in public."

Home then and healthy lunch. Things are looking up. Then naptime. Notorious naptime.

Levi, fighting a cold, has trouble going to sleep. He'll close his sweet eyes and I tiptoe out and waaaaah! Juliet is watching Sesame Street again - and I Hate with a capital H that that is how I keep her occupied - and he falls asleep again but her videos end and thump thump thump she runs to me for "more songs!" and waaaaah!

This happens a half dozen times. I can't win. One is upset if I am with the other one. If I try to put them to sleep together they don't sleep. Somewhere in there I snap again - this time worse - raise my voice. Shut both doors and eat some chocolate and take deep breaths before starting over.

I decide to put Juliet to sleep first so Levi cries for ten minutes while I am with her. I go to my sweet, upset little Levi and feel so guilty. I bring him to the living room and nurse him, hoping he'll fall asleep and I'll finally get my break. He doesn't sleep. Oh well; I give him some of my chocolate.

Juliet wakes and things are just tense in the house. I am feeling like the worst mom on the planet. I resolve to do something about it - to try to change those nasty feelings. I put the kids in the stroller and we head to the store and then to the park by the lake.

We have a potato chip picnic. I take photos of them. They play on the playground. Baba meets us and then we walk home and eat a delicious pork roast + veggies.

A good ending to the day, I suppose, but to be honest I still feel pretty shitty.

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Linking up with Heather for Just Write.

This blog provides me with an opportunity for me to express some of the frustrations that come with staying at home with two little ones. I want to assure any of you that are worrying about me that everything is really ok. I've got a great support system here, and the trench I'm in now is nowhere near as deep as the one I dug out of last year.

Inadequate

2011-10-22T21:03:00.001-07:00

I'm up way later than I should be. So late that I will be upset with myself in the morning because the kids will be up at the normal time and I will be tired. It's almost 11. Maybe I'll get lucky and Travis will let me sleep in.
I couldn't sleep tonight because I got all upset at bedtime because - well, it's hard to pinpoint what started it - but days with Juliet are just hard. And today was especially hard because she didn't nap and then at teeth-brushing time she was uncooperative and when I picked her up to bring her to bed she bit me on the shoulder.

I don't even know why she bit me or if she meant to or what happened. It was pretty uncharacteristic of her. But it happened and I snapped and quickly put her in her room and told her to go to sleep and shut the door. She cried and cried for me - Travis and Levi were in there but she wanted me - and I was only gone for a couple of minutes.

In those two minutes I posted this

i don't think juliet ever had terrible twos, but she saved it all for age three.

and added this as a comment

i'm having such a hard time with her :(

Then I went back in the room, hugged her, shushed her, calmed her down and helped her to sleep.

---

And then I made hot chocolate from scratch with lots of sugar and that is why I cannot sleep.

---

Also, I had planned to write about all of the ways that Juliet's current (totally normal for a 3-year-old) behavior makes me feel totally inadequate and like the worst mother ever (because it does, as irrational as that is), but Travis is tossing and turning and I asked him if I was keeping him up and he said yes.

So, good night.

-not wanting to have her picture taken-

Our Tremendous Leap of Faith

2011-10-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

So, it's known by now that we have moved to the Midwest.

But we weren't always sure it was going to work out.

I'm going to make this a long-story-short kind of deal. There are tons of details but I'm sure all you are interested in is the happy ending anyway, right?

Back in August or so, Travis was getting unhappier by the day at his Portland job. Simultaneously, we were pondering the future and thinking about our ability to finance Montessori education for our children, which is an expensive venture if the only options you have are private schools.

Earlier in the spring, before signing with the school in Portland, Travis had been offered a job with the public school system here. They have several Montessori schools within the public school system, and they have public Montessori education all the way through high school. At the time, we (I) really wanted to stay in Portland, so we took the Portland job even though all signs told us it wasn't a good fit (except the staying in Portland bit - which was great for me, mentally).

Fast forward to August and we are trying to figure out what the hell we're going to do and this job in the Midwest comes up. Travis shoots off an email to his contact and we just wait to hear back. It didn't take long before he wrote back saying, "If you had only emailed me two weeks ago, I would have had a place for you." Darn! Then, "Would you like to be 'on-call' for the next available position?" Yes!

We kind of thought oh well and figured maybe it would work out in the future. A couple of days later, he got an email that said a position was open - a new teacher had quit before school had even started. So, we bought Travis a plane ticket for two days later. He was on his spring break and it was the only time he could go without taking off of work.

He flew to visit and loved everything he saw - the boss, the school, the staff, the city - so he had a great feeling about it. Unfortunately, he had to come back much sooner than planned, because he happened to be gone the day I got very, very sick, but luckily he had seen enough to know that he wanted to accept the position.

And the boss said he wanted him to start as soon as possible. So when he got back to Portland, he resigned from his job (not surprisingly, they didn't take it well) and we told our landlord we were leaving and we set the moving wheels in process.

And then he got another call. The boss had called to say that one school's budget had been cut so a teacher from that school had to be shifted into the position he had been offered. Travis hadn't officially been hired yet so there was nothing he could do.

Travis was crushed. I was devastated. We were both worried and quite frankly, freaking out. Travis had worked so hard to get this job lined up and we had everything ready to move, yet here it was all falling apart. That night was a rough night - neither of us slept a wink.

And then things picked up a bit. Travis talked to the boss, who is a really nice guy who we could feel was on our side, and he thought that as a Montessori-trained teacher, Travis could pick up subbing jobs every day. Sub work paid well, better than the money Travis was making in Portland, but it didn't have benefits, which we were really hoping for. And he said Travis would be first on the list for any full-time position that opened up.

So, it didn't take us long to decide - to take that tremendous leap of faith - and say yes.

Yes, we will move our family clear across the country for a substitute-teaching job.

It does sound crazy, and it felt crazy at the time, but we felt it was the best choice. We had no work in Portland, and it would have taken a while to find some. Subbing did pay well, and being here would put Travis in a good position to get in with the school system. And even if we moved here and Travis never got a teaching job, we could still enroll our children in Montessori schools through high school for free.

So we did it. We packed up and moved, arriving here two weeks ago. Upon arriving, Travis finished up some administrative things to get hired as a sub and was waiting to get called in for the final paperwork.

Then, three days ago, he checked his email and in his junk mail, of all places, was an email from a school administrator about an open position at her school. It was a position working with special needs children - which is not Travis' area of expertise - but it was Montessori and they were willing to get him the training he needed to work with special needs children. And it was full-time with benefits.

Travis went to visit the school to visit. He really liked it and thought the position sounded interesting and challenging, so he accepted.

He started work yesterday. :)

So, not a short story after all. But a good one, I think. One we'll retell to the kids and grandkids, I'm sure. "Don't be afraid to take a risk" will be the moral of the story. Or, "Have faith, kids, that things will work out."

But I think the most important lesson is to make these big decisions together - take risks and have faith, but be sure to grab your partner's hand before you leap.

Broken Glass

2011-10-19T13:06:00.001-07:00

I was in the kitchen and they were in the "dining room" which is actually their playroom. I hear Juliet calling me because "it broke." So I go in and see that a candle had fallen off a shelf and broken into a bunch of pieces. I had to make a split-second decision - what's more risky, to let them stay in this room while I clean it up and risk someone stepping on glass or put them in their room - together - unsupervised and risk the unknown.

(We don't have baby gates or playpens so that wasn't an option.)

So I decided to put them in the room together. As I shut the door, I said, "be nice to each other," and then hastily got the broom to begin sweeping. As I was cleaning, quickly but thoroughly, I was listening for screams or squeals from Levi that would alert me that Juliet had pinned him to the ground or done something other evil thing. But I heard no such thing.

I heard squeals, but happy ones. I heard giggles from both little mouths. And my heart was so full.

I decided to take my time, to let them continue to bond and play. And before too long the door opened and Juliet said, "Can we come out now?" I had been done and was triple-checking for glass, but said, "Sure, I'm just finishing up."

Good things can come from some broken glass.

expecto patronum

2011-10-15T19:46:00.004-07:00

I probably shouldn't be blogging tonight. I'm feeling quite a bit melancholy (it's that time of the month) and I'm afraid that what I write will have a negative feel to it. But, I have been wanting to blog for a while so I'm just going to go for it. Everyone's asleep and now is my time.

But, just know that if I sound depressed, I'm not. I'm ok.

Turns out that moving is very hard. Whether or not you've had a baby in the last ten days or you have two under three or whatever, it is a tough thing to do. I really, really hope that Milwaukee turns out to be home because I really, really don't want to move again. I want to travel and see places and all that but picking up all my possessions and leaving my friends and comforts for new lands, no thank you.

Yes, I will probably be singing a different tune when I get antsy here, or when I have to dig myself out of feet of snow, but right now, I say no moving.

It's just too much.

The good thing is that Milwaukee is pretty great. I've really liked everything I've seen so far. I can say that because winter is not here yet.

The community where we are living is fantastic and has made our transition pretty damn easy. The house is amazing and like five times bigger than our Portland apartment. The neighborhood is very comparable to Sunnyside - I didn't think that was possible. In fact, since there was no Lake Michigan in Sunnyside...well, I was about to say that makes Bay View better but since there's no Swap Shop in Bay View I think they're about even.

And I miss New Seasons, too.

Oh my gosh I just about started crying when I typed out "New Seasons." That's just a grocery store, for those of you who don't know. Yes, that time of the month indeed.

And I thought that I was going to be some great community organizer and start my own Swap Shop here in MKE and since then I've remembered that I suck at being outgoing and so I probably would not be able to start a Swap Shop or a good one at least and so who am I kidding. I gave up on that dream, for the most part anyway.

I'm great, I know. Give myself a break, I need to. Blah blah blah.

The hardest part about right now is that the kids aren't sleeping. And so neither are we. I mean not sleeping as in five or six wakings between the two of them for several nights in a row. And then they finally go to sleep and I am exhausted but I have to choose between time for sleep or time for myself and usually I choose time for myself which just makes me even more sleepy in the long run.

I don't blame them. Levi is teething and that really seems to take a toll on him. Juliet is a sensitive little being and does not handle change well - not that she should be expected to at age three. I've started keeping a change of PJ's by my bed for when she comes to me in the night to tell me she's peed in the bed. Then, I let her crawl in next to me. I really need my space but it's either that or get up and change the sheets and then convince her to get back into her own bed and I'm just too tired for all of that.

(She went through a bed-wetting phase when she started school over the summer and she had finally gotten through it when - boom - it's time to move and it started all over again. So I'm not surprised and it really doesn't bother me. I just hate waking up.)

And there are other sleep issues - falling asleep on their own issues - that I just won't go into but I'll just say we probably brought 95% of it on ourselves (dug our grave) and now we're paying the consequences (lying in said grave)(but not sleeping - just lying...awake).

And if you don't know me very well and you're reading this you probably think I've lost it but I promise I haven't. I just needed to get all of this out.

And if you don't know me very well then you should also know that I have come a hell of a long way in the past year.

A year ago, I was struggling with postpartum depression and I was so low that I could barely care for the kids or leave the house. I beat myself up and criticized myself every minute of every day, and I believed every negative word or bad name I called myself. A year ago, I loved my husband and my kids but I couldn't show them because I pretty much hated myself.

And now, a year and another big move later, I am alive again. Although the negative Rebekah threatens to move in again - I do not let her.

I cannot - I will not let depression back in.

And that sentence just proves why I am ok. Because I have the power to say no to depression. When it wants to take over and convince me that I suck and that I am a terrible wife and mother, I have the power to fight back, to say, "yes, my situation is very tough right now, but I am ok. I do not suck. It's not my fault and it will get better."

Because despite all of my flaws, I love myself more now than I have in my entire life. And that love gives me the power I need to stay afloat.

So yeah this was a post full of bitching about moving and sleep and hard times. But 2011's hard times ain't got nothing on 2010's.

And with that I'm gonna end it, and get some much-needed sleep.

A Moment of My Time

2011-10-11T08:39:00.003-07:00

I'm sitting on the potty. The bathroom door is open, as it always is when I'm alone with the kids. I told Juliet as I walked to the bathroom, "be nice to him while I'm in there."

She had another agenda that didn't involve him at all. As I sat, I saw her run by me towards her bedroom. Not two seconds later, Levi followed after her, grinning, and swinging his arms like he does when he gets going.

What are they up to, I wonder.

A minute later, Juliet comes back headed the other way, her "Lucy" doll in hand. (Lucy is actually a Snow White baby doll, but we don't call her that.) And again, Levi is following her closely. He's loving it - he loves her.

And I finished up and found them in our bedroom, tumbling around on the spare mattresses, giggling.

This is part of Heather's Just Write link-up. Blogger is being funny with links, so here is how you find Heather:

http://extraordinary-ordinary.net/

and her Just Write post today is here:

http://extraordinary-ordinary.net/2011/10/11/just-write-the-fifth/

Missing

2011-10-10T12:54:00.002-07:00

I miss blogging!

But I just can't do it right now. Boxes are still unpacked. The kids are cranky because things aren't settled. So I must work.

I'm trying to be kind to myself in this transition. It's not easy. I like order and being settled and knowing that everything is going to work out. These in-between times don't treat me well.

I'm ready for a routine. Hoping that comes together this week.

Settling in

2011-10-06T18:46:00.003-07:00

We have arrived in Milwaukee.

Not much time to write as our days are spent unpacking and exploring and making friends and soaking up every minute of warmth and sunshine before we see snowflakes outside the window.

Like above, swinging with a view of Lake Michigan. I know he won't remember that, but how cool anyway.

And now I crash. Good night.

Juliet Says: Potty Edition

2011-09-29T19:49:00.003-07:00

This is funny, real funny.

I was sitting with Juliet while she went potty this evening.

Out of the blue she says, "This is my favorite poo-poo."

"Why?" I reply.

"Why?" she says, sounding offended. "This is my favorite poo-poo. I don't need to talk anymore."

And that was the end of the conversation.

Levi Says / Juliet Says

2011-09-29T05:58:00.004-07:00

You read that right - it's time to begin the "Levi Says" segment on Legers at Home.

Exciting!

Since we left Portland, Levi has started saying two more words (in addition to mama and baba).

He has mastered the cutest "uh oh" ever and loves to say it while throwing food on the floor. It's soft and sweet and drawn out like this "uh ohhhhhhhh."

Also, a friend gave us a play cell phone for the kids for the trip, so the other word he has started saying is "hello?" Except it sounds more like "ooooooOOOOO?" and is also absoultely adorable. Now, at the Leger house, any time the phone rings or someone gets a text or the clock chimes on the hour, he raises his hand to his ear and says, "ooooooOOOOO?"

It's so great to see him enter this new stage of language development.

Juliet's language has been developing well, too. She is speaking in holding conversations, making plans, telling stories, and learning more complicated words every day.

And, she has entered the dreaded (by me) "Why?" phase. Everything you tell her is answered with a "why?" and the answer to her "why?"s is simply answered with another "why?"

Yesterday she was having a "why?" conversation with Abeulita (Travis' mom) and Abuelita finally said, "you sure like to say 'why?'.

Juliet replied, "I say 'why?' and Levi says 'uh oh.'"

Clearly she is as impressed with his developing language skills as I am.

Small Style: The Bike Rider

2011-09-15T10:27:00.004-07:00

I hope this girl brings her Portland style to Milwaukee.

As far as I know (Travis was with her when she was dressing) she picked this all out herself.

And yeah, already we're back to needing fleeces and coats...no rain yet, but Juliet is just being prepared, as always.

And she put on her backpack, just like her Baba. They were headed to the grocery store together.

Right after I shot this one she waved and said, "Bye! See you soon!" She just so grown up.

On J:

Helmet - Giro Me2 purchased at amazon.com

Raincoat - Sam's Club (of all places)

The rest of the outfit (skirt, socks, boots) came from the Swap Shop.
And she's on a Strider bike.
Linking up with Small Style at Mama Loves Papa.

---

I promised a picture of her new (cavity-free) front teeth. Don't they look great?!?!

It takes a village

2011-09-13T07:03:00.003-07:00

Or in our case, an ecovillage.

We have found a place to live in Milwaukee. (Oh, I still haven't mentioned why we're moving there? Different post...sorry...)

So, the story goes this way. Upon learning that we were moving to Milwaukee, I FB-messaged one of Travis' classmates who hails from there. One of my main questions was about good neighborhoods. Her favorite by far was Bayview (or Bay View?), which is situated south of downtown MKE and on Lake Michigan. She said it was safe and had a lot of cool things going on...farmer's markets and the like, so I began searching on Craigslist.

About day four of searching and I came across a posting talking about a co-housing community that was looking for tenants for a lower, two-bedroom apartment in Bayview. (The posting was there all along, but I think I found it because I changed my search terms from Bay View (one word) to Bayview (two words).

Travis has shown interest in co-housing a lot recently, and I am definitely open to it, though I have always proceeded with caution. I love the idea of belonging to a community and sharing resources, but I get nervous because I know that I definitely need my own space. I lived in a co-op right after college - one where we shared kitchen, dining room, and even bathroom - and that was great, but add in two children and nap times and frustrating times (you know those, right?) and it's just better for a mom with two littles to have her own space. This mom, anyways.

So, we contacted these folks and had some phone and Skype conversations and before we know it we have clicked with them and it looks like we'll fit right in and we have been invited to be a part of their little ecovillage, as they call it.

They share things, lots of things. Meals (3 times per week), internet, garden, exercise equipment, netflix, laundry, and I'm sure laughs and tears and all of that, too. It's an intentional community, and I think that's beautiful. People who come together and choose to live together, to face this life together, rather than alone. And in a world where lots and lots of people want to do things all by themselves, and I in fact even just a year ago had that same mindset, it's a beautiful feeling to be able to surrender to this co-housing idea and be open to all it can offer. And be willing to give it all that I can.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. But, honestly, I think it takes a village to raise a human.

I, for one, most definitely, have not given social support the importance it has deserved during my adult life. When I left behind my college soccer days, I left behind the insta-social support network that I had had since I was 9 - my soccer team. Those high school and college soccer-playing days were the most mentally healthy days of my life - although I feel good now - and I think just having 15 or so friends that I saw 3-4 times per week definitely contributed to my mental health.

All of this is to say this. Moving is hard. Moving far away from home is extremely difficult. I should know, I did it just a year ago, and really struggled through the first few months. I did have other factors weighing in on the struggles (newborn baby, no car, rain and rain and rain) but it was a really rough transition that would have been made much easier with some social support. (And in the end, what saved me was family - the only social support we had at the time - flying in to help.)

So, aside from all of the awesome sharing benefits that this community has to offer, one of the major reasons I am excited about joining is the support network that it offers. There will be people I can learn from and who can learn from me, people to say "hi" to every day, people to share my triumphs and struggles, people to hug and play with my children (besides me - a mama gets tired), people who can show me how to shovel snow or get to the library or make sure my kids don't get frostbite.

I know some of them may be reading this (we shared the blog link so they could get to know us a little bit), so I want to say hi and I can't wait to meet you (in person) and I really look forward to all we can offer each other.

---

This was an exercise in free-writing...letting the words flow and not going back to make edits. I'm linking up with Heather at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

Today

2011-09-09T19:08:00.004-07:00

Today Travis had his last day of work at his current job. It was supposed to be next Friday but some strange stuff happened and now we have him home. It's kind of a good thing, I guess...now we have more manpower for packing and he also has to study and pass the Praxis and Praxis II for his new job, so he'll have more time to study, too.

Today we were interviewed by the State Department. It was a pretty short but interesting interview. We were listed as references for one of our Peace Corps colleagues who has applied for the Foreign Service, so we had a vouch for her as a person who won't betray the good ole USA. Fortunately, since she is an honest, hard-working, responsible woman, I was able to answer all of the questions in her favor. It was a little awkward because the interviewer, a retired man who works on contract doing these interviews, looked me in the eye the entire time. I'm sure he was doing that on purpose, but nonetheless, it was awkward. I do hope she gets the job - she will do great.

Today - actually, just now - I'm pretty sure I saw a little worm in Juliet's poop. Argh! I don't know if I am getting parasite-paranoia or if it really was one! Looked like one for sure, and Travis concurs. I suppose if I am positive for worms she may be, too. Speaking of worms and poop (man has this blog ever been so personal?), I got a call from the doctor today, just checking in. The lab has begun running the ova test or something looking for parasites and we should know back in a couple of days. The doc (actually a physician's assistant) said that if I was negative for worms, they will refer me to an infectious disease specialist. Whoa! I hope it's worms, cause I know I don't have the time for all of that right now.

Today, Juliet got two cavities filled! She was SO great and brave, I was so impressed. She has had those little cavities since she was probably 18 months old or so, a result I think of 1. nursing through the night until 14 months of age and 2. new parents who didn't know how important it was to brush a baby's teeth. Anyways, she ended up with the two cavities on her front teeth and her dentist here (amazing dentist!) has been treating them with flouride for the past several months until she thought Juliet was old enough to tolerate treatment. Basically Juliet just had to be calm enough to remain still for it...it is a bit scary and loud with the air they have to blow to keep it dry (no drilling at this point). Anyways, they were going to fill them in November, but when we found out we were leaving, I rescheduled to this week. I wanted this particular dentist to do the fillings because Juliet has built a relationship with her. So, we went and Juliet did so great. And her teeth look fantastic. I will post a picture tomorrow. Oh and we were talking about it today and I asked her if the dentist visit was scary and she said, "when Dr. Pelley put the air on my teeth, that was scary." So cute. She sure didn't show any fear.

Today was a busy, emotional day. Tomorrow the packing really begins. Did I mention we're moving to Milwaukee? I didn't? Oh, different post for another day.

Good night!

The Long Story

2011-09-08T10:27:00.003-07:00

I've been writing lots of facebook posts this month about my belly troubles, and I know some folks are following along, so I thought I would write out in more detail what's going on.

There is a little TMI involved, just be warned. If you are sensitive to medical information or poop, you might want to stop reading now.

So, on the 16th of last month, I went into the local Zoomcare (which is like urgent care but not really, because you can see them like primary care) in severe abdominal pain. I had been vomiting, having diarrhea, and the worst stomach pains since childbirth. No, maybe this was worse than childbirth because I had no idea when it would end. I wrote about it here.

At Zoomcare they diagnosed me with the stomach flu and said if it didn't get better to come back. Well, it did get better so I thought I was in the clear. Until ten days later, I had the exact same symptoms, not quite as severe or lasting as long, but I was still miserable for a good 12 hours. I called the doctor back and asked if the stomach flu can come back. He said not likely, but call back if it doesn't get better. It got better, so I thought I was ok.

Until six days later. Same damn thing. This time, Travis happened to be in Milwaukee of all places so I was suffering alone for real this time and had to call on my sweet neighbors for help. I went back into the doctor and she said ok, this isn't stomach flu, let's get to the bottom of it. She ordered bloodwork, an ultrasound, and a stool sample.

The bloodwork came back mostly normal, but one antibody, eosinophil, was elevated. This result could indicate a parasitic infection.

(Side note: One thing I like about Zoomcare is that they email you your lab results, sometimes before the doctor even reviews them. So, I had seen the bloodwork results before the doctor. When she called, she said, "All the bloodwork looks normal, so that's good." And I was able to say, "No, something was elevated," and she says, "Oh yeah, eosinophils - that can indicate parasitic infection or allergy." Why she said the bloodwork was normal, I have no idea, but I was glad I had the power (read: information) to call her out.)

The ultrasound was also normal.

The stool sample did not get tested. The lab said they didn't get the order form with the specimen, but I was certain I turned it in to them, so they must have lost it. So that was crappy. And what was even more crappy was that nobody called me to tell me the stool sample wasn't getting done. So, it was ordered on Friday, and I'm waiting and waiting until finally, yep, six days later and I'm having another episode. This was yesterday.

After several unreturned phone calls from the doctor's office (still don't know what that was all about), and some encouragement from my neighbor, I walked my sick self into the doctor's office. As I was explaining myself to the receptionist ("I'm sick, I am waiting on these results, you won't call me back, etc etc") a doctor comes up. She is just there supervising but overhears my story. She calls me back to her office.

She does an exam, gets all the information she needs, and looks at my test results. She says we should order another stool sample, but she wants to treat me empirically to get me some relief. So, she gives me medicine for giardia (tinidazole) and for worms (albendazole). She says to take them both at the same time and oh, by the way, you can't nurse your son for three days after taking the tinidazole. She also says that my symptoms and bloodwork present more like a worm than giardia.

Hold the phone. I know I need to get better and I know I have to put myself first, but I didn't want to take a medicine that would interrupt nursing if I didn't absolutely have to. By the time I got the prescription filled anyway, the creature was taking its rest (i.e., my symptoms were getting better) and so I was feeling like it would be ok to wait for the stool sample results and treat what I have rather than just treating everything.

AND I AM SO GLAD I WAITED.

So, I still do not know what I DO have, but I know that I don't have giardia. I also don't have clostridium or cryptosporidium. So, hopefully, the chance that I have to take the tinidazole (and interrupt Levi's nursing) is out.

So, after consulting with my doula and also the InfantRisk Center hotline (they have an app for those of you who have smart phones), who both use the same source of information (Dr. Thomas Hale's Medications and Mother's Milk), it seems that the albendazole (worm medicine) has very low concentrations that transfer to breastmilk. In fact, this medicine is used to treat parasitic infections in pediatric patients worldwide, so it should be fine for my baby. I plan to take it after I nurse Levi tonight, whether I have worm results or not. They recommend waiting 3-5 hours after taking it to nurse, so that should be just fine.

So that's where we are now. Oh! I almost forgot to mention the TMI. I'm pretty sure when I was collecting my second stool sample yesterday that there was a worm in it. Ewww, I know! So gross. But, I really hope it was a worm because if it wasn't, I'm not sure what is wrong with me.

Oh, and I visited my nurse midwife today for a well-visit, and I had actually seen her for something else last month, and I've lost six pounds since that last visit. I weighed in at 126, and I'm pretty sure the last time I saw that number was in high school.

How did I get the worm (if it is a worm) is probably the next question. I've read that you can get it from undercooked meat or from coming into contact with animal feces. More gross stuff here. So, we visited a farm (Kruger's Farm on Sauvie Island - won't ever go there again, even if I didn't pick up a worm there) to pick berries and they have some pigs you can visit before picking. I know this is admitting to really poor hygeine but I think I may have touched the pig's nose and then not sanitized my hands before picking and eating berries. Or maybe it got on our shoes or something, ID-freaking-K. That's the only thing I can think of at this point.

So, we have been not-so-lovingly named the creature in my belly "Kruger's Worm."

And if it turns out it is a worm, we'll probably have the kids tested too just in case.

So there you have it. If you have any questions feel free to ask!

Up Close and Personal

2011-09-04T23:19:00.004-07:00

From

2011-08-29T15:44:00.007-07:00

I am from the Deep South

From a family of seven - five kids - two brothers, two sisters

From Catholic school and church every Sunday

From Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, and the Monday Morning March

From riding bikes every day after school with my best friend

From many, many (failed) sleepovers

From tap, ballet, and jazz, and year-end performances - costumes, make-up, rehearsals, smile!

From cheerleading my brother at track and cross-country meets

From straight As and Principal's Awards

From soccer practice, games every weekend, tournaments, travelling, Eurosport, soccersoccersoccer

From LSU gymnastics meets and baseball games (before they were champs)

From weekend trips to New Orleans with Dad, either breaking down or getting lost almost every time

From bologna sandwiches on white bread with lots of mustard

From Baskin Robbins mint chocolate chip birthday cakes

From monthly trips to Sam's Club, eating Doritoes on the way home

From Ding Dongs, Twinkies, Star Crunch, and Nutty Bars

From summer-long games of Rummy against my little brother

From Barbies and My Little Ponies and Care Bears and Pound Puppies

From tattling on my sister

From M*A*S*H and The Princess Bride...home movies and The Big Fun Club

From handmade Easter outfits and egg hunts after church and Creme Eggs in the basket

From salt-dough nativities, candy-cane advent calendars, Mom's christmas cookies

From stamp club meetings at the library

From Coffee Call - beignets and chocolate milk

From crawfish boils in the Spring and Mom's cheese dip for football games

From the Spanish Town Parade, its beads later strung into snakes down the driveway

From the Lake - from camping and swimming and skiing and laughing and ice cream and Wahoo and Pounce and horseshoes and sunburn and Grandma's eggs and The Princess and "Charge it to Papaw"

From a family full of love and fun - the best I could have ever dreamed of

---

Saw this idea here and here.

Levi at the Doctor

2011-08-26T21:15:00.003-07:00

Levi owned his doctor's visit on Tuesday.

He was quite scared of getting his height and weight taken. But, as soon as the nurse left, he started playing with books and got comfortable in his surroundings. When Dr. M came in, and asked him to bring her a book. He picked one up, stood up, and walked it over to her. Throughout the appointment he was bringing her books and playing with her. She was quite impressed with his sharing skills.

The only part of the appointment he didn't like was when she laid him on his back on the table. I think he knows that crinkly paper sound is associated with prickly needles.

When it was time for Dr. M to leave, she was trying to get him to wave and saying byebye, and he walked over to her and held up his hand. She picked him up, and he snuggled up to her and gave her a hug. She decided, since he was being so sweet, to take him down the hall with her.

They walked into the nurses' area (to order his immunizations) and then I heard her say, "baby on the loose," so I poked my head out to see what was going on. And there was Levi, in his diaper, in the chart room. Dr. M had given him a tongue depressor and he was giving it to one of the staff members. She tried to give it back to him and he pushed her hand back as if to say, "no, you keep it." Then, he grabbed Dr. M's hand and they walked back to the examination room together.

Needless to say, this was enough to get me all teary-eyed and emotional. This boy is so sweet. He amazes me.

And for the record, his one year stats:

Weight - 22 lbs 1 oz (45th percentile)
Height - 29.75 inches (50th percentile)
Head Circumference - 18.5 inches (75th percentile)

Walking on the Line

2011-08-24T20:49:00.003-07:00

In Jamison Square last Sunday

Are you thirsty?

2011-08-24T10:02:00.002-07:00

Two cute, sweet stories for the blog today.

A couple of days ago, the children and I were sitting outside getting to know our new neighbor, H. H is going to be doing the teacher training program at MINW, the one Travis just completed. Juliet and Levi were playing around and suddenly Juliet said, "I'm going to get her a snack." She ran inside and came back out with her half-eaten cupcake. I said, "Oh, thank you Juliet, but I don't think she wants to eat your cupcake," (maybe I should have let her speak for herself - perhaps she did want it!) and Juliet looked a little disheartened. Then she said to H, "Are you thirsty?" and H said, "Sure, I'll have a drink if you get me one." So, Juliet ran inside (I totally thought she was going to bring a pretend drink) and came back out with the almond milk and a glass. Then she went back inside and got another glass. All by herself, she opened the milk and poured a glass - almost full - of milk. And then she poured a second glass, too. She ran back inside to put the milk back in the fridge.

Juliet and H shared their milk together. And then Juliet took the glasses inside. When I went back inside, I found everything in its right place - milk in the fridge, glasses on the counter to be washed.

I was super impressed by this. She's such a sweetheart.

Ok, so that is just one story. Tomorrow I'll tell you about Levi's doctor's visit and how sweet he is, too.

Levi at One Year

2011-08-21T20:43:00.005-07:00

Dear One-Year-Old Levi

2011-08-21T15:14:00.001-07:00

Dear Levi –

It’s your birthday! You are ONE!

You are such a special little guy, and I wanted to write you a letter to tell you all the things I love about you. Well, it’s going to be a long letter.

I remember my labor with you so clearly. I remember the moment when you were placed on my chest, we saw you were a boy, and I snuggled you and kissed you. It was pure happiness. I held you, put a hat (knit by Grandma) on your head, and you pulled your little thumb into your mouth and sucked away. It was the only time I’ve ever seen you suck your thumb. Soon after, you nursed (guess you found something better to suck on), and I fed you and loved you. I was surprised at the quickness of labor, so shocked that it was all happening, here you were in my arms – so fast! Your Baba held you, too, and loved on you. You were perfect, and you still are.

When you were ten days old, we left New Orleans behind for Portland. We drove the whole way – I was too nervous to fly with you – and it took us about a week. We took it slow, and you slept most of the way. We would stop every two hours because you needed to eat. Some of my favorite times on the trip were when you and I sat in the front seat of the car and you nursed. Juliet and Baba would go into a store to get food or they would be playing in the park, and it was just us two, bonding.

We got to Portland and I’ll admit, things got a little out of control. I had set some pretty high expectations for myself for being a stay-at-home-mom of two in a brand new city without a car living in a tiny apartment. I could not handle it very well and I needed help, so your Grandma came in to help. We moved, and then we moved again, and ended up in our current (perfect) apartment. Moving did not solve all of my problems, though, and my need for perfection and inability to attain it led to some pretty nasty emotions and before long, I was caught in a downward spiral that led to the dark world of postpartum depression.

You, your sister, and Baba were so forgiving. Even though I was not perfect, you both didn’t hold it against me. You showed me love unconditionally, and that (plus medication and therapy) helped me through the dark times. You were both small, and so I know you both didn’t really know what was wrong with Mommy, but regardless you were patient, loving, and caring. And we got through it, all of us. Days now are much happier.

But enough about me, let’s talk more about you!

(And I just realized that I also wrote you a letter at six months, so there may be some repetition here, but you’re ok with that, right?)

You are growing up so much! It seems like every day something changes, and after every nap you look a little bit older. It probably has something to do with the fact that you are walking now, and you are getting more and more stability in those two feet of yours. You took your first steps at about ten and a half months. Now you love to go walking about on your own down the sidewalk, but sometimes you will reach up for my hand, and I love that.

You are saying a few words, really simple like “mama” and “byebye.” You have a word for Juliet that sounds like “dah-daaah.” And you have a couple of signs. For a while you grabbed your ear or both ears when you wanted something – this was a variation of the “water” sign, we think. You learned “tree” today, and you used to sign “more” but not so much anymore. So, maybe signing isn’t your biggest thing. You understand a lot, it’s amazing! You can act on basic requests such as “give mommy a kiss/hug” or “please bring me your bowl.” You understand yes and no, somewhat, and can shake and nod your head. Oh, and I taught you how to do the “up, down, side to side” arm exercises, like we taught to Juliet when she was little too. It is SO cute.

You love to climb and so I have to keep a close eye on you. You also love to stamp your feet. I think you are going to be a very active little guy. You are also very musical. You have always loved going to music class, and I think you’ll enjoy it even more now that you can stand up and really dance. Music comes on or we start singing and you just start grooving your little body with a big smile on your face. The CDs from music class have a repetition activity at the end of some of the songs where the singer says, “bam, bum, bom,” or something similar and then there is a quiet moment for the child to repeat it. Well, sure enough, I have started hearing, “ba, ba, ba,” from the back seat. Pretty amazing.

You are really interested in the sorts of activities and toys that we have for you in the house. Some of your favorites right now are the ball tracker, and you are able to place the balls in the top perfectly, an old coffee can with a slit in the lid and with beads inside to pull out, and some little plastic animals. You like to put the heads of the animals in your mouth and walk around like that, it’s funny. You like books, too. In fact, whenever we sit down to read a book to you, you are so happy that you begin giggling. You help us turn the pages.

And then, of course, you love anything your sister happens to be playing with, and that doesn’t always turn out well. The two of you get along great, most of the time. It is hard right now because Juliet wants to keep her things to herself, but you are so curious and just want to explore. She sometimes screams, “mine!” at you and you get sad. Other times you play perfectly together, sitting and holding hands while she sings to you, and it’s wonderful. She calls you “Baby Levi.” I hope you two are great friends growing up.

Foodwise, you are still on the gluten-, dairy-, and soy-free diet. You seem to like most of the foods we offer you, with your current favorites being bananas, blueberries, bread, pancakes, tortillas, hummus, meat, squash, zucchini, and…well, everything! Maybe I should list foods you don’t like: broccoli, bell peppers. You still love to nurse, several times a day, and I don’t think either of us have plans to stop anytime soon.

You have eight teeth, and you just had your first dentist’s visit two days ago. It’s called a “happy visit” because they don’t really do much but look at your teeth and the way they are forming. You were calm with the dentist as she checked your mouth. She said you are starting to get your molars, which may be why you’ve been waking up at night recently…

And speaking of sleeping, we have had several different sleeping arrangements for you over the year. Co-sleeping, crib in our room, mattress on the floor next to our bed, crib in your room alone, crib in your room with Baba on the floor, mattress in your room alone, and mattress in your room with Baba on a different mattress next to you, not particularly in that order. Wow, writing that all out just shows the lengths we’ll go to for a good night’s sleep. Sleep is such a complicated beast in our house, but I’m happy to say that in the arrangement we now have, you are sleeping through the night most nights.

Last but not least, I want to talk about your personality. Levi, I’m afraid it’s going to be hard to describe just how sweet, loving, friendly, and funny you are. You have a gift for making people smile, and perhaps that’s because your face lights up when you meet anyone, whether you know them or not. (And you’re pretty darn cute, too.) You’re outgoing. Last week at the zoo you reached out to a complete stranger for him to hold you (he politely declined) and today at the park you grabbed a man’s finger and made him take a little walk with you (he had kids, too, so he wasn’t too freaked out). You’re fun! You like to play games with Uncle Lee on Skype, leaning back and forth towards the camera and smiling, while he does the same thing. I can tell you are going to be a little jokester once words start coming out of your mouth. You’re very smart, too. I can tell that you understand a lot of what I communicate to you these days.

You give us so much love. I love your hugs and kisses; I can never have too many. You have a special relationship with Baba, too. You like for him to put you to bed at night. When Juliet is upset, you like to come over and pat her on the back to comfort her. You’re just a super-sweet little soul, and I am so happy that I am your Mommy.

I’m really excited for the next year, to see you grow from a one-year-old to a two-year-old, to see you turn into a toddler and learn how to talk, run, and jump. It’s going to be a fun year, and I’ll be supporting you every step of the way.

I love you,
Mommy

exactly - but there's so much more

2011-08-18T20:45:00.001-07:00

npr ran a story about how much a simple pre-schooling can effect what kind of adult emerges. yes, that is why i do it. not only will children taught about the basics of how to get along, how to control oneself, how to care for oneself, not only will they get better jobs and be healthier but they will change the world for the better.

look, let me let you in on a little something. the reason we dont have mainstream jobs, the reason we work with little people, is because we are secretly trying to change the world. we know how crucial the experiences of children ages birth to 6 are on what kind of adult comes next. this is no joke. the more we put into getting that good start, the better for everyone.

if you can get a group of 3-6 year olds to get along, imagine what kind of world they can create if they can use those skills in their adult lives.

Feeling alone and far away

2011-08-16T17:23:00.003-07:00

Being sick sucks. Being sick while living 2,135 miles from your mommy sucks even worse.

Today, I was very sick. It actually started yesterday with nausea and stomach pains and then this morning I awoke running to the bathroom. I took many, many trips to that room today.

At times, the cramping was so bad that I was reminded of being in labor. But labor would have been better, I think. My labors are short, I get a break in between contractions, and it ends with a beautiful little baby. Here I was, curled in a ball in such pain and with no idea when the end would come. Miserable. I choose labor.

And then, what am I supposed to do with the kids while I am sick like this? I mean, Travis worked a half-day yesterday and stayed home today -- there is just no way I could have parented alone -- but he can't use up all his sick days on me. Then what about when he is sick? Luckily, we are both healthy and don't get sick often, but will this change as he is exposed to more and more germs at school?

We have never been big on hiring babysitters. So unfortunately, in this situation, we have nobody to call on. And honestly, I don't think my kids would do very well with a babysitter while I was just in the back room. And my one good friend in town who I trust with (both) my kids (at the same time) has a toddler and life of her own and so I hesitate to call for help. I even have friends who have offered to help but I hesitate because it's just uncomfortable for me to think about someone (besides me, or family) spending all day with my children.

It's this idea we have, and I know it is a flawed one, that we can do it all ourselves. Most of the time, we get by without help. (That means very few date nights for me and Travis, though.) But on days like today, I kick myself for not having a greater support system to fall back on. I wonder why we aren't living closer to family.

So, what's the answer here? Do I branch out, swallow my pride, ignore my insecurites and just find a "family" here in Portland? (And trust that they'll take care of us like our real family would?) Or do we move back home?

It takes a village to raise a child, and really, we have no village...at least not one we trust to help raise our children.

It may be time to find one.

My sweet boy

2011-08-09T21:29:00.001-07:00

Juliet says: hotel or hospital?

2011-08-09T08:43:00.003-07:00

Ever since we spent a lot of time this summer staying in hotels on our trips and swimming in the hotel pools, Juliet has been kind of obsessed with hotels. She thinks we can just go swim at a hotel whenever.

And every day on the way to and from school, we pass a hospital, but she thinks it's a hotel, so she gets really excited, "that's the hotel, mommy!" Every time. To and from school. Every day.

Initially, I corrected her and said, "no, that's a hospital," but generally this made her very upset, even resulting in tears sometimes. So I tried to explain that this building, the hospital, had doctors and sick people, and hotels do not.

Still, every day, she calls out, "the hotel!" as we're driving by. Sometimes I just say, "uh-huh, ok," and sometimes I try to explain again.

Today, this is how it went:

"Mommy, the hotel!"

"That's the hospital. There are doctors and sick people inside."

"No! It's the hotel!"

"A hotel with doctors and sick people inside?"

"Yes. And swimming pools."

Unrelated photo: taken on our trip a farm on Sauvie Island last weekend

Primary

2011-08-08T10:55:00.005-07:00

Right now, Juliet is at her first day of Primary school. In Montessori terms, that's the classroom that includes 3-6 year olds. Juliet is not quite 3, but she was ready for the transfer to the bigger class.

I snapped these photos of her before we left. She was excited. She visited the classroom on Friday, with a few of the other new students. Her teacher is a classmate of Travis' from MINW. We are so fortunate that we know her teacher well and we know that she has a very good training, just like Travis.

This is a big change from the toddler room, where she was for the month of July. There, she was the oldest, and it was a relatively small classroom. Now, she is one of the youngest, and she will be in a big classroom with big kids! There is lots to work with in the new classroom; I know she will love it.

This is a big day for Travis and me, too. Since we learned about Montessori, we have known that it is the type of education we want for our children. So, we are so thankful that she is getting to attend this school.

I leave to pick her up in about 30 minutes. I can't wait to see how her day went!

These kids

2011-07-28T18:32:00.002-07:00

They make me so emotional. A short and sweet story for you.

Juliet was riding her bicycle; Levi was walking around outside. Juliet got upset about something and she was a ways off from us. Levi heard her crying and started walking to her. When he got about halfway to her, she stopped crying and started biking my way. As she passed me she said, "he made me feel better."

And I started crying.

These kids - they make me so emotional.

Small Style

2011-07-14T14:35:00.005-07:00

This is the meal/outfit coordination edition.

Shirt - Carter's (via Swap Shop)
Diaper - Fuzzi Bunz
Meal - Carrots and Broccoli

Linked up to Small Style at Mama Loves Papa.

School Notes

2011-07-12T08:53:00.002-07:00

One day, I imagine Juliet will want to read back on all of this...maybe...

So I may, from time to time, come here and jot down some notes about her school days...

Today I wanted to share that yesterday was her third day of school, and it was also the first time she spoke to her teacher. Her teacher said, "those are pretty flowers on your dress," and Juliet said, "there's some more flowers up here, too," pointing to more flowers on her dress.

Then, today, her fourth day, was the first day I dropped her off with no tears.

And, she has a friend named Moonbug. Moonbug was waiting for her, and asking about her. Pretty cute.

Staying Flexible

2011-07-11T09:12:00.003-07:00

Our morning routine is shaken up a bit. Juliet is going to school at just about the time Levi wants to be taking his morning nap. Last week, on both days, he fell asleep on the way there, so I had to wake him to take Juliet into school. Today, he fell asleep in the car on the way back, and then woke up while I was transferring him into the house. (I may have parked too close to a tree and then put his head in the leaves on accident.) So, he's eaten and now he's playing, and we'll just go on with what needs to be done today and he'll nap when he's tired, I suppose. If things go according to my plan, which they rarely do.

Being flexible is such a big part of motherhood. It's so important, for me anyways, to be careful about setting rigid plans, because when they don't turn out, it throws me off. The result used to be tragic - a ruined day, a really bad mood - but these days, I am so much better about going with the flow. It's made our life at home so much happier and easier.

So, Levi and I are headed off to the store now. And with my luck he'll probably fall asleep on the way there. And the way back. But I won't park next to that tree this time.

Letter to Juliet

2011-07-06T15:45:00.006-07:00

This is the picture we sent to school to hang in your cubby.

Dear Juliet,

Today was a big day for you. It was your first day of school!

It comes as no surprise that you are attending a Montessori school. You go to the same school where Baba works, in fact. We are very lucky that you are able to go. It is a great place. Right now you are in the Toddler room but once you turn 3, you will move into the Primary room. Your teacher in the Primary room will be one of Baba's classmates!

Right now, you are the oldest in your class, but when you go to Primary you will be the youngest. It's a mixed-age class with children from 18 months up, and there are mostly girls with a few boys. You are going to school in the mornings, from 8:30 to 11:45.

Today was not your first day in the classroom, though. Last week you went for a one-hour visit, and you really liked it. You were really excited about going back, and you stayed excited right up until we parked the car, then you started showing some anxiety. You asked me to wait for you in the car, and you didn't like it when I told you I would be waiting at home. When the time came for me to leave, you cried and held on to me, but your teacher took you and I'm sure that soon after I left, you were fine.

When I picked you up, I was so happy to see you. Your teacher said that you were very observant throughout the morning, and that you started participating after a while and you helped her wash the dishes and do laundry. (It's a Montessori school, so you do those types of things.) When I picked you up, you were doing an activity with the Spanish teacher.

We got to the car, and you told me that for snack you ate strawberries (from the garden!), oranges, and crackers. You were excited about the crackers because we don't eat crackers at home (they make Levi sick), so they were a special treat. You said you didn't use the potty, but you did wash your hands. As we were driving home, you asked me the name of your school. I told it to you a few times and you repeated it until you got it right, then you repeated it in a singing voice all the way home.

I can tell you had a good time at school and I know you will grow to love it. It's hard leaving home for the first time -- you miss me and Levi -- and that's ok, we miss you too. But you will learn a lot from the teachers at school, and they care about you too, so it's a good place to be.

You're such a big girl, now! I love you so much, little munchkin.

Mommy

First Day of School

2011-07-06T10:02:00.003-07:00

the climber

2011-07-02T14:37:00.003-07:00

A Month

2011-06-20T20:38:00.002-07:00

A whole month.

That's how long it's been since I've visited this space.

And, I'm not going to do much now either except tell you that I will be back.

Sometime in the near future.

I'm just not sure when.

Eatin' Berries

2011-05-20T06:11:00.003-07:00

Now you know what Levi looks like with clown make-up on...or a five o'clock shadow...

Nine Month Stats / SLEEP

2011-05-19T08:58:00.003-07:00

We saw the doctor a couple of days before Levi's nine-month "birthday."

Weight - 19 pounds, 11 ounces - 45th percentile
Height - 27.75 inches - 45th percentile
Head circumference - 18 inches - 50th percentile

I was concerned about Levi's weight and height percentiles going down and that his growth is slowing down. Dr. M said that for weight, it is completely normal for him to slow down when he starts crawling, because he is burning more calories. For height, she said that they probably didn't get the measurement right, because it is so tough to get him to stretch out on the table. I think we'll measure him on our own tonight and see what we get.

And I should say that he is now night-weaned and sleeping through the night. HOORAY! Last night the kids both slept 10+ hours and Mama slept 9 hours straight. Man, it feels so good. Amazing. Wonderful. SUPERB!

And better night sleep means better nap sleep and waking up happier. When he woke up from his nap a few minutes ago, the first little sounds I heard from his room, instead of cries, was "mama. mama."

My heart is full!

Quick Pic

2011-05-15T21:39:00.003-07:00

Finished up two more skirts tonight. One is for J (stripes) and the other is for my niece. Had two more in the works but I just was not able to get them done tonight. Bedtime!

First Skirt

2011-05-13T14:16:00.003-07:00

Oh yeah! I completed a skirt!

It's the Simple Skirt from Leila and Ben. The fabric is some I had on hand. My plans for the rest of Kids' Clothes Week Challenge is to make four more of these! Two that are identical to this one, for Juliet's cousins, and two more for Juliet with other prints.

I just love this skirt. And Juliet does, too. She's been wearing it all day. And since she seems to prefer running around in underpants or her birthday suit, I call this one a huge success.

Quick KCWC Update

2011-05-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

Today during Levi's first nap, I:

-pinned the pockets onto the skirts so they are ready for me to sew tonight

-found some more cute fabric in the stuff my mom sent; cut out another skirt and pocket and ironed the hem and waistband (what? another skirt?)

-suggested to juliet that I make a matching skirt for Chloe, her doll (now I've completely lost my mind)

Just a few more days to go!

Moving right along

2011-05-11T20:54:00.000-07:00

So, Kids' Clothes Week Challenge is coming along for me. I decided not to post pictures until I had the finished product, but I am well on my way.

I have cut out four skirts, created five pockets to go on them (one skirt will have two), and ironed the hems and waistbands for each skirt.

The next step is to sew the pockets onto the skirts and then sew the skirts together, put in the elastic and voila! Finished.

Whoa...getting ahead of myself. I still have a long way to go. And that's not all I want to make. I want to make another, slightly more difficult skirt for Juliet as well. I bought some super cute bicycle fabric for it and I just have to find the time to make it.

But now, it's off to bed. Good night!

P.S. Check out the flickr group for the KCWC here (http://www.flickr.com/groups/1293871@N23/). Amazing stuff!

Kids' Clothes Week Challenge

2011-05-08T19:38:00.002-07:00

Hello!

This next week, I will be participating in Kids' Clothes Week Challenge. You can read about it here on Elsie Marley, or I can tell you quickly that I will sew at least an hour every day this week to make something for my kiddos or someone else's kiddo.

I kind of cheated and started today. Today was Mother's Day and one thing I asked for was some time to sew. I didn't actually sew today but I cut out the patterns for four skirts: two for my little girl and two for my nieces. Other things I want to sew this week are a couple of bow ties for my little man and a vest for him as well. We'll see if that takes all of my time. If I have more time, I will certainly find another cute pattern online.

That's it for now. I hope to check in each day with pictures from my progress. In fact, I am about to work on some pockets for the skirts and if I finish any I will post pictures tonight.

I hope you'll follow along!

Small Style

2011-05-06T12:09:00.005-07:00

This is the silly edition. Juliet rarely goofs off for the camera. We had just gotten back from our fun music class so she was in a playful mood.

She's started wanting to dress like me. I put on a dress and tights this morning and before I knew it she was in the closet picking out a dress and tights. I like the combo she picked out. I added the sweater and shoes.

On Juliet:
dress - swapped*
sweater - Old Navy
tights and shoes - Target

On Levi:
shirt and jeans - swapped
shoes - Pediped

Both kids are wearing amber necklaces from a local shop.

*If I say something is swapped, it means we didn't pay a penny for it. We belong to a co-op where we can bring in clothes (in good condition) that don't fit or that we don't like and exchange them for clothes that do fit or that we do like. It's the best deal around. I'm so glad it's in our neighborhood. Have I ever mentioned that our neighborhood is called Sunnyside? How wonderful is that?

Linking up with Small Style. Oh so fun.

the first post i've ever written while eating gluten-free brownies and non-dairy ice cream

2011-05-05T20:42:00.004-07:00

Just a few pictures of things going on around the Leger house...

We've been trying out a few new recipes in our gluten-, dairy-, and soy-free diet. The dish below is vegan mac and cheese. There is no cheese at all - not even fake cheese - and it uses brown rice pasta. It was actually very good!

We've also been baking loaves of bread. It was a long time before I tried to bake a gluten-free loaf of bread, and even now I still use a mix. Gluten-free baking is pretty tricky (as we learned when we tried to bake a king cake). I'm using Pamela's bread mix right now. It is yummy. And it allowed me to make my favorite sandwich - chicken, bacon, avocado, mayo, onion. Yummmmmm! I've been eating all kinds of bread treats that I haven't had in months: pb&j, cinnamon and sugar on toast, and we used bread crumbs from Juliet's crust (she hates the crust; "take off the cruuuust," she says) to put in gluten-free meatballs. On Sunday, for Mother's Day, I requested a (cheese-less) pizza using Pamela's mix for the crust. I'm sure it will be great!

Spring has sprung here in Portland...finally! The temps are still chilly and it still rains quite a bit, but there are some beautiful days, too. This weather was definitely worth waiting for. On Saturday, Travis and I went on a date - a picnic to the park. His classmate came and took Juliet and Levi to a different park while we went out. We had pb&j sandwiches, fruit (strawberries and oranges), Travis had beef jerky, and we had "ice cream." We took books and just laid together on a blanket. And we got dressed up to boot! It was really fun.

The flowers, oh the flowers! Beautiful pink flowers in the trees, tulips in the yards...I should post a separate post just of flower pictures. But these are from when we walked to the Swap Shop one afternoon.

And now on to the kids. Here are some of the crazy things Juliet has done lately.

Ride her bike on the couch. This is something that happened while I was occupied with Levi and took my eyes off of her for a few minutes. She knows very well that "the bike is an outside toy" but that didn't stop her. I put an end to it...after I snapped a picture, of course.

Making breakfast? Spilled egg on the counter turned into food art for a curious little munchkin.

Shades! She has been asking for sunglasses each time we went to the store so I finally bought her a pair. Now she wants to wear them every time we go out, even when it's overcast. Pretty darn cute, right? She picked them out herself.

Sweet Levi has been trying new foods. Isn't this the sweetest blackberry face you've ever seen?

And his favorite food is pears. He will eat pretty much an entire one by himself. I just love this picture of him and Baba. They have such a special bond.

That's it for tonight! Hope you enjoyed it!

easter post updated

2011-04-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

here.

Mini Levi Update

2011-04-29T15:29:00.009-07:00

Last week, Levi took a dive out of his high chair. :( He was buckled, but wiggled out while I was a few steps away in the kitchen. His poor little body went crashing to the floor, and he sported a little goose-egg for a couple of days. It was not my finest mom-moment, but he seems fine now - and really the pain only lasted for as long as it took me to soothe him with breastmilk.

Anyway, after that, we decided that really, the high chair was not necessary. You see, in Montessori classrooms, as soon as a child is sitting, he has a chair at his height so he can sit at a table to eat. This gives the child more independence over his food - allowing him to choose when to sit and when to get up. So, we decided to go for it.

We bought an inexpensive table and chair from IKEA and yesterday, Travis' classmate (a trained carpenter) came over and sawed the legs down for us. So now Levi has his own table. Montessori calls it the "weaning table."

It's really super cute to see him sitting there eating. See? He really loves it.

(And seriously - I know he's my kid and I'm biased - but what gorgeous eyes!)

That's him eating blueberries and blackberries. Slowly but surely he's eating a greater variety of foods. We still have some belly concerns for him but we will address those at the next doctor's visit.

Which is his nine-month visit. Yes, he's growing up so quickly! Just turned eight months last week.

In other news, he is saying "Baba" and "Mama." This is huge! I guess you could call them his first words. Last night, he was sleeping with us (b/c of teething), and he and I were lying awake at one point. Perhaps he had just finished nursing, I'm not sure. Anyway, Travis rolled over in bed, and when Levi heard him, he said, "Baba. Baba. Baba." He's definitely separating the words and not just babbling like, "babababababa." It's just so darn cute. To be honest, he doesn't say "Mama" quite as much, but Travis says not to feel bad, "It's just a father-son thing."

Speaking of teething, it's going horribly. Poor little guy is having such a rough time! Right now his top two teeth are coming in. Soooo sloooowly. He's been having a rough time sleeping, which is why we brought him into bed with us. He's still waking up, but with me right there I am able to nurse him right back to sleep (most times; at least once a night he thinks it is playtime). We bought him an amber teething necklace which, believe it or not, seems to be helping. He's wearing it in the pictures above (the table ones).

Well, that wasn't such a mini update, was it?

holiday pictures! not too long after the actual holiday! (and all in one sentence)

2011-04-25T15:44:00.008-07:00

so...
bekah found this fabric at a free swap the other day and found a pattern online for the basket liner and couldn't help but say she had to just had to make a liner for juliet...

so she did of course saturday morning before the easter egg hunt and we got juliet to pose with it before we left...

and when we got there there was a big line and we finally got in and saw the field of eggs...

and when the lady said go the line of children and their parents mowed down the eggs but juliet was able to snag one, just one...

which had some melted chocolate eggs inside and she couldn't help but eat them...

while levi was left with the empty egg...

and look cute in his hat...

and we sat down and enjoyed the watm weather and mom enjoyed the view which meant she couldn't stop looking at her new sandals and imagining she was part of the royal family...

and then we went to leave and followed the signs for the free petting zoo and found this guy and well juliet wanted to give him what else but a high fiver...

and then on sunday mom hid the eggs she and j dyed the night before and she only dropped one egg as she did so but no matter juliet was ready to go...

and in portland you dont cancel anything due to rain so j donned a raincoat and looked for brightly colored ovoids...

and found them all and put them in a basket different from the one she used at the other hunt because wouldn't you know it we left that one on the side of the road...

and so we went inside and pocked eggs, as we are want to do...

and everyone got a chance at it...

and to top it all off we used abuelita's easter monies to buy a bicycle for juliet, a special kind without pedals, a kind she calls a tricycle.

Slacking

2011-04-22T21:02:00.011-07:00

There are so many things I want to post about. Lots of stuff has been going on - good stuff. But, I'm pretty much too tired all of the time. Sleep is still not great around here (better, but not great) so I am going on eight months now of nights of broken sleep. Levi has slept through the night ONCE - that's it. So, it's tough. Sleep deprivation is really tough - as anyone who has had children will know.

So, there are all sorts of things I want to do in the evenings after the kids go to bed, but most of the time, I just skip everything and crash. One of these days, I know I will sleep again. Then I will have the energy to sew and read and watch movies and blog. But until then, I may not be here much.

I do have some pictures to share. Just a couple.

Levi turned eight months yesterday. What a ham.

We went for a walk in the beautiful spring weather today, and I caught this wonderful shot. :)

Although the temperatures may not be that warm, spring flowers are definitely in bloom. Here is just a sample. I hope to post more later.

Levi got his first pair of shoes!

And finally, we planted our first garden. (Again, I hope to post more pictures later.) We learned that Juliet does NOT like to have dirty hands. Poor thing was so upset.

Fort Leger

2011-04-11T11:41:00.007-07:00

The kids are both sick today, so we are sticking around the house to get some rest. As much rest as is possible for these two little munchkins.

I was reading on one of my favorite blogs and she mentioned that her kids had a dining room fort today. I thought, "hmmm, I've never done that before. Let's try it."

As you can see, it is a hit.

Right now, Juliet is sitting under the fort calling Levi. "Baby Levi, Baby Levi, Baby Levi..." and finally he crawled over, but he is easily distracted. Now she's saying, "Come here buddy! Come here buddy!" And he just wouldn't take the bait so she came out to play with him.

They sure don't seem sick!

Small Style

2011-04-07T20:11:00.005-07:00

A double-dose of small style today, because I missed last week. We'll call this first part the "Spring coat" edition. This coat, from Target, is adorable. Really, if you have a daughter, you should go buy one.

The only drawback, for us, is that it's not water resistant, so she can only wear it when it's not raining. And it rains a lot here. But, she still gets to wear it and carry her sweet umbrella.

Those are petals from the cherry trees in front of our apartment. It was a nice spring surprise for us. ---

The second part of this week's small style is the "Wear your younger brother's clothes" edition.

Gosh, today Juliet has been in and out of so many outfits, and all of them Levi's! She even went to the store wearing one of his onesies (not snapped) and his pants. I made her wear a fleece, though, and her own socks and shoes.

I didn't get a picture of that outfit, but this one I like. Levi's sweatpants that we got from the Swap Shop, shirt from Old Navy, and fedora hat from Baby Gap. It's so funny that they can fit in the same clothes.

What a silly big sister.

Levi's Ground-Touching Ceremony

2011-04-03T06:43:00.002-07:00

We had Levi's ground-touching ceremony yesterday. This is an initiation-type ceremony that is based on a ritual in the Balinese culture. I read about it in Eat, Pray, Love. The Balinese believe that newborns are close to the gods, and since they would never let one of the gods crawl around in the dirt, they keep their babies off of the ground, too. I have read different lengths of time for how long they do this - 3 months, 6 months, 105 days - but when the baby finally has his "ground-touching," they have a big ceremony and celebration. When Juliet was six months old, she touched the ground for the first time. Levi had to wait a little bit longer because the weather when he turned six months was not so great. Actually, the weather yesterday was not so great either, but we went ahead with it anyway. (And, technically, this was not the first time Levi touched the ground, but the second. He touched the ground at the coast a few weeks ago. Technically, this was his "grass-touching.") Because of the rain and cold, we did the first part of the ceremony inside. This is where Travis and I explained the ceremony to everyone, and then we passed Levi around the circle of our friends and family so that they could give him blessings and words of support. Then, we walked outside and did the actual ground-touching part. We had practiced this (inside) twice with Juliet so that she would know what to expect. Travis set his feet down on the ground while Juliet and I both touched his shoulder. After his feet touched for a few seconds, he sat on his bottom in the grass. Now, with Juliet's ceremony, it was springtime in New Orleans, so we were able to let her sit in the grass and play, exploring the leaves and checking it all out. Levi, on the other hand, sat on the ground for about a minute, let out a few whimpers, picked up one piece of grass, and then he was done. So, that was it, and we brought him in :) I'm uploading video right now, but here are some pictures from the day. I will post the video later.

Sibling Love

2011-03-25T21:39:00.000-07:00

Oh Happy Day!

2011-03-24T20:37:00.002-07:00

Today, Travis passed his thesis defense for his MFA in Creative Nonfiction from UNO. It's been a long road, and I'm so proud of him for sticking with it to the end! We celebrated with a little (literally) bottle of bubbly. Hip Hip Hooray!

Cheers to Baba!

Seven Months

2011-03-21T14:37:00.005-07:00

My sweet boy turned seven months old today. Here are some pictures from the last couple of days. Hope you enjoy. (And yes, his big sister helped accessorize him for one of the pictures!)

Also, check out his teeth!

Small Style

2011-03-17T20:59:00.005-07:00

A new weekly feature over at the Mama Loves Papa blog: Small Style.

I love this idea, especially since we have a toddler here who loves dressing herself. What a great way to chronicle her outfits. Also, I love this idea because I love dressing Levi. (Although today is not a great example of dressing him well. It's more...eclectic.)

Without further ado, our first Small Style:

On J:

Hat: knit by my mom

Fleece: Old Navy

Leggings: Swap Shop*

Boots: Swap Shop

On L (Stripe overload!):

Hat: Swap Shop

Fleece: Baby Gap (Swap Shop)

Pants: Carters

Socks: Old Navy

*The Swap Shop is a super-duper neighborhood co-op that we belong to. Part of the co-op is a clothing/shoe/gear exchange. We can bring clothes that no longer fit (the kids or ourselves) and take clothes that others have left. This "swapping" is done completely on the honor system and is completely free. Our co-op membership is only $30/month. You can do the math. It is a steal.

danger: do not blog after 10 p.m.

2011-03-05T22:04:00.002-08:00

Wow - I just spilled a glass of water on both laptops. Luckily, they both seem to still be working. I should probably go to bed but I wanted to write a few things first.

I haven't blogged much this week and I actually have only taken a few pictures this week, too. No real reason except that I just haven't had too much to say.

We've been pretty busy this week. It's hard to stay around the house these days because Juliet gets bored (and then goes crazy) so easily. I am having a harder and harder time keeping her engaged and challenged at home. I'm trying new activities, but even then she seems to get bored, then try to do something beyond her abilities (put clothes on her guitar, for example) and then she gets really frustrated. So then we just try to get out of the house, quickly, and go anywhere for her to let loose. Problem is, little Levi still needs his naps and he naps better at home. I am really feeling like she is ready to go to school, and I hope that once we figure out where we'll be living this summer, we can arrange for her to attend school somewhere. I think once she gets some more structured and challenging activities, she will really take off.

I'm also ready for spring. Then we can go outside more often. Ahhhh, spring.

We had a non-family babysitter come to the house to watch Juliet and Levi this week. It was another one of Travis' classmates, and it went so well! Juliet was talking with the babysitter before we even left the house, and she had fun with the games J (the babysitter) brought, like playdoh, bubbles, and colors. Levi got upset towards the end and we got a call to come home, but luckily we were already almost home anyway. Travis and I got to enjoy a coffee date, and it was really nice. We went to a place where they had a comfy couch and we were joking, "do you think they would mind if we took a nap?" Hehe.

But sleeping is going much better over here. Last night I slept 4.5 hours in a row! Doesn't seem like a lot but gosh, it makes such a difference to get that much sleep instead of 2 or 3 hours in a row. I've been sleeping on the floor in Juliet's room and Levi has been sleeping in the room with Travis. It's been working out and Levi has been putting himself back to sleep when he wakes up, except when he wakes up to eat. Tomorrow we are buying Levi a crib, and hopefully he will get used to sleeping there so we can then transition him into Juliet's room.

We think Levi has outgrown his infant car seat. Technically, he can weigh 3.5 more pounds and still fit in it, but he just looks so uncomfortable in there. So we are going to upgrade Juliet's carseat and Levi will get her old one.

Hopefully we'll get that done before the kids and I head off on our beach adventure next weekend! Yep, the kids and I are going on a little vacation. Travis is so crazy busy that he really needs some peace and quiet for a few days to get work done. So we reserved a hotel room with kitchenette to stay for four nights. It will be our home away from home, except with an unobstructed ocean view and staircase to the beach!!! I am beyond excited. I know it will be tough but we are going to have so much fun. I checked out some books about the beach and Juliet and I began reading them tonight. We'll turn this into a learning experience. I said this already, but I am so excited!!

That's it for tonight. I should really get some sleep!

The Carnival

2011-02-27T13:07:00.004-08:00

We went to the Carnival yesterday at the Swap Shop. The Swap Shop is the co-op that we belong to, the one that houses the indoor playspace where we spend a lot of time these days. It was set up in a large gym, and they had several activities such as a spacewalk, bean bag toss, and a basketball game. As you can see, Juliet got her face painted, and she also played the fishing game where she held onto a little fishing pole (made of pvc pipe and a string - ha) and someone tacked a little prize to it. She got a monkey ring and a bottle of bubbles.

She was also really overwhelmed the whole time we were there. I think she spoke one word to anyone the entire time we were there - when I asked her if she wanted a cookie she said, "yes." Poor little thing. There were tons and tons of people crammed into the gym, so I can understand why it was a bit too much.

But, as soon as we left, she was running and jumping and talking about all the things she saw. Which included some pretty awesome circus act exhibitions by the folks at Do Jump. Watching this made me want to put down some roots right here in SE Portland so we could all take classes from them. Yes, they do adult circus classes! Maybe I'll be brave enough to try one sometime soon.

Scenes from Our Snow Day

2011-02-24T12:03:00.003-08:00

Another Levi Update

2011-02-23T17:19:00.005-08:00

I don't keep baby books. I started one for Juliet, but quickly lost track of all of the dates and milestones, much less developing pictures to put inside. So, when the kids are old enough to be interested in this stuff (or their significant others are interested), I will hand them the url to this blog. Or will I email it to them? Text them? Tell them over Skype? Who knows what technology will be by that point.

It is with that in mind that I like to record these little types of details - things like how their doctor's visit went and what they thought of their first foods.

So, the doctor's visit was yesterday - his six-month check up. It went very well. The doctor was impressed by Levi's mobility. She talked a lot to us about safety issues and baby proofing. With regards to sleeping, she said eating during the night is still ok for him, as long as it's ok for me. He weighed 18 pounds 7 ounces, which is exactly ten pounds greater than his birth weight. He is in the 75th percentile for weight. The nurse measured his height and it showed that he had shrunk since his last visit. So...since that's obviously not what has happened, I'm not sure what to report on height. His head circumference is also in the 75th percentile. We skipped on the shots because 1. we're doing a delayed schedule anyway and we're not in a rush and 2. he is getting over his cold and teething so I thought shots would be a mean thing to add onto those already existing discomforts.

Foodwise, Levi is moving right along with trying solid foods. He has had rice cereal and zucchini in addition to his first three foods of avocado, banana, and sweet potato (yams, technically). The rice cereal is homemade from brown rice. It's a very easy recipe that I got here. And I just boil the zucchini (I would steam it but our steamer died. Sad.). In case you didn't know, I make all of Levi's food at home. I am not a fan of the jarred baby food. I mean, we others in the house rarely eat processed foods, so why would we feed them to him? It's just a better option for us.

I introduced him to spoon-feeding when he had the rice cereal. He likes to grab the spoon from me and put it in his mouth by himself. He really enjoys chewing on the spoons right now, and I think it soothes his aching gums (which look so painful, by the way). So I get two spoons for each feeding, and we kind of trade off. He eats one spoonful and chews on the spoon for a bit, then I give him another spoonful, and so on. Usually I go with the "baby-led weaning" approach at the beginning of the meal, but then when I give him the rice cereal, his focus shifts to the spoon. So, I've been mixing in a bit of his yams or banana or zucchini into the rice cereal.

And, he's now eating twice a day. The doctor recommended it. She actually said, "Feed him as much as he wants." So, I figure we'll have two planned meals and then if he is interested in my snacks throughout the day (and it's a food he has tried) then I will give him more. This means that I am going to be spending a majority of my day cleaning up mashed food from the table and floor. Yay.

And finally, a cute story about his first taste of zucchini. First, he took a couple of bites. Then, he would pick it up and bring it a few inches from his mouth, looking like he was going to eat it. But, then he would just throw it over the side of the chair onto the floor. What a silly little boy. It was neat to watch him do that.

eating and watching for snow (hasn't come yet)

A Letter to Levi at Six Months

2011-02-20T13:59:00.007-08:00

Dear Levi -

Today, you are six months old!

your birthday

This is the first letter I have written specifically for you. I intended to write them more often, but things have been quite busy since we moved to Portland when you were only ten days old. When you are older and people ask where you were born, you will say, "I was born in New Orleans but we moved to Portland when I was ten days old." And people will probably say, "Wow, that's crazy." And they will be right, because it was crazy.

But we survived. You were such a trooper on that road trip. (Did I mention that we drove?) We were all packed into a rented SUV (a Ford Edge). You and Juliet's carseats were in the back and either your dad or I would sit in between the two of you. We drove around 8 hours a day and stayed with family or in hotels. You slept the whole way, mostly. When you got upset we'd pull over and see what you needed. Whenever we stopped, you and I would stay in the car while Juliet and Baba would go and get us some food. I'd change your diaper and feed and burp you. Then, we'd get some fresh air.

We moved around a lot in your first six weeks, but by the beginning of October 2010 we were settled into our apartment in Southeast Portland.

one month old

You had colic in the early weeks. It was mild, but we had a lot of trouble soothing you to go to sleep in the evenings. You cried a lot at night, but during the day you were so laid back and happy. When you were about 2 months old, I decided to eliminate dairy and gluten from my diet because we thought that they might have been irritating your belly. So, after a few days you seemed to be getting a lot better. I am still keeping those things out of my diet so that you won't have any problems. And I have to say, I do miss eating pizza and ice cream, but for you kid, I'll do anything.

You breastfeed, of course, and we have had a good nursing relationship from the very beginning. You love to eat. You are still nursing a couple of times during the night. You sleep with us in our room, but on a little mattress next to ours. You like to be rocked to sleep, but we are going to try to wean you from that habit soon. And, we think you may sleep better away from us, so we are slowly working towards transitioning you into Juliet's room by the time you are about a year old.

two months old

You're a belly-sleeper, which is actually not recommended these days by the medical professionals. But, you had a really hard time sleeping on your back. I was pretty nervous to put you on your belly, but I started doing it for your naps so I could watch to make sure you were ok. So we finally put you on your belly at night. I think I slept with one eye open for a long while, but I finally became confident that you were fine. Now you kind of roll around to different positions during the night, but you seem most comfortable on your belly.

You've been physically developing very quickly and you've always been very strong and sturdy. At eight weeks, while sleeping, you scooted on your belly all the way to the foot of our bed from where our heads were. I was SO surprised to find you there. In the past three weeks, you have learned to crawl, sit up, AND pull up. Today, while pulled up, you even let go of the couch you were holding on to. You are a little man on a mission. And, you're big. You're wearing 12-month clothes right now. We'll get your weight and height at the pediatrician tomorrow.

And, this weekend you cut your first two teeth, the two on the bottom. You have been a little fussy, but not too much.

three months old

Talk about development! You really are an amazing little boy. To me, you are absolutely perfect.But I don't care if you crawled at six months or sixteen months, I would love you just the same.

I'll keep going. There's so much more to tell about you.

Your personality is so special! You are such a happy and peaceful little child. You're friendly to those you know and those you don't know. You're so so so sweet to me. You love to give kisses and last week you even gave me a hickey on my face. When someone else is holding you and I walk by, you'll extend your arms and reach for me. I love that. You make me feel so loved and special. I am so lucky to be your mommy.

four months old

Your relationship with Juliet is very special. She loves you very much and you love her, too, even though she's been kind of rough with you lately. She's not quite sure how to handle you moving around and touching her things. But you'll be matching her strength in no time, I'm sure. From early on, you've always given her your biggest smiles and she makes you laugh like nobody else can. You are constantly watching her and before too long you'll be imitating her every move. I hope you two are lifelong pals and a good support for each other.

You have recently started eating solid foods. The "experts" recommend waiting until six months to introduce solids, but you clearly had another agenda. You seemed so interested in our food and you were waking up to eat a lot at night, so we deemed you ready and gave you some avocado. You loved it. Then we gave you banana, sweet potato, and brown rice. You love ALL of it. I can tell you are going to be a big eater. Even when it's not your time to eat, you don't care, you'll dive for food or smack your lips. It's pretty cute. And we're letting you take the lead on eating, so for most foods, we're just putting food in front of you and letting you figure out what you want to put in your mouth. I'm feeding rice cereal with a spoon but again, letting you pretty much take the spoon from me and feed yourself. It's really amazing to see you eat! I mean, you can really do it.

five months old

It's really no surprise that you're moving through your milestones so quickly. After all, yours was quite the speedy delivery; the time from my first 'real' contraction to having you in my arms was less than two hours.

Levi, I am so glad you are in our lives. Things were not easy for me in the early months, but I won the battle and I am such a better mommy for you and Juliet. Thank you for your patience and forgiveness. You are truly an amazing little soul.

six months old

Happy half-birthday, little man. I love you so much.

Mommy

Family portrait that we took ourselves

2011-02-16T19:15:00.002-08:00

February 2011